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One Day Break 1 November 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, The Brooder, The Rambler.
8 comments

It’s been a while since I truly felt how a holiday is treasured by normal working people, er, since I’ve been out of the corporate scene for quite a bit now. Yes. I’m once again braving this world of powersuits, meetings and endless white papers — the typical 9 to 5 job. Gah.

The past couple of weeks were a blur and all I can distinctly note is that I’m now re-learning how to commute mainly with the use of the shuttle that services Ortigas-bound Paranaque folk and basically trying to get to know this part of the metro that I’m not really familiar with. Let me tell you, it’s a real experience. Whew.

When I learned that we get to spend this day off from work, I’m a bit relieved since I’ve been swamped with work. I’m not kidding. Add that to the fact that I’m still adjusting from my former state wherein I used to own and manage my time with an already established routine. Sigh.

Today is a good day. It’s a nice break. Even when a major part of it was used to do some more work, I appreciated the fact that I got to sleep in. I got to spend my “holiday” last night anyway, which was fantastic because I needed some time away from all the things that needed to be done. I needed time to de-stress. I’m thankful for the dinner and the company. Teehee.

Now, the day’s almost over but I’m off to do more work. Gah. I’m looking forward to the weekend.

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Coffee makes my world go *poof* 18 September 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, Photo Gadgets, Photography, The Rambler.
3 comments

Sasha This photo is a current favourite.

Rico took it with Raissa‘s cam when the three of us went out last Friday. Thanks for the Brooklyn pizza, Rico.

Wait a minute — did anybody thank me for Figaro??? Sheeesh. What ever happened to common courtesy? Hmpft! 😉

I digress.

The photo’s quite messy at the beginning but I worked on it till I was able to achieve the look that it has now. My main objective was to make it presentable enough so I can upload it to my Flickr.

So — what do you think?

A photo says a lot, don’t you agree? [Subtext. Subtext. Hahaha.]

On Moving and other changes.. 9 September 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, The Brooder.
18 comments

I just got settled [sort of..] in a new place. It’s a place that I’d like to call my “bachelor” pad. Hehehe.

I’ve been packing and un-packing — moving my arse around — so much that it’s becoming funny. It makes me feel like I’m a nomad.

But I’m seeing this as an opportunity to be more grounded and sane. Perhaps it will do me a whole lot of good, now that I’m in a different place. I’m hoping that it’ll provide a new perspective in my life.

And oh, it comes with a perk… I’m now on ADSL. Heeheehee. 😉

Simple Things That Entertain 4 September 2006

Posted by Sasha in Blogs & Blogging, Films, Gallivanting Episodes, Mood Notes, Muscle Cars, Photography, The Brooder, The Car Enthusiast, The Rambler.
7 comments

I’m one of those people who live a pretty laid-back lifestyle. I don’t take everything too seriously — but that doesn’t mean that I can’t because I can. I guess I’m just saying that it would take a lot to ruffle my feathers and I take pleasure in simple things. Heehee.

I’m guilty of not posting much lately. I can’t come up with a good enough reason — sorry. Heh.

But I’d like to enumerate the things that entertained me these past couple of weeks.

Gig Night. Shared a couple of beers with Rico at 1740 Bistro to hear my friends play. Finally a gig that’s not in Tagaytay! Hahaha. Though, I would’ve enjoyed the roadtrip. Anyway, it has become a ritual that every new friend goes through — sort of like an initiation — meeting these 4 guys [Ram, Joey, Joel and Oliver] of Streamline. Don’t ask why. I’m not telling. Hehehe.

DVD Marathons. Note: emphasis on it being plural. I actually finished 2 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and 7 seasons of Sex and the City. I’m now on the first season of The OC. I’m keeping my mind off blogging for a bit. Don’t hate me. Hahaha.

Photography. I had the opportunity to do a lot of it over the weekend. It was a bit challenging since I was expected to cover an actual event — a kid’s birthday party. Heehee. But it certainly felt good getting behind the camera once again. Plus the fact that a friend said that he didn’t realise that I was actually really good at it [he got it wrong perhaps? Hahaha.] and went on to ask for pointers. I was so flattered. Hahaha.

Dicovery Channel’s RIDES. I caught the episode, Foose’s 69 where they worked on a Chip Foose-designed 1969 Camaro. I saw a lot of Mustangs like the Eleanor [seen in the movie, Gone in 60 Seconds], Shelby G.T. 350 [my dream car] and the amazing Shelby G.T. 350R [the exact car that Joe Johnson drove].

Random Quote Javascript. Adding it on one of my blogs is a cause for a small celebration. Hahaha. I’ve been wanting to do that for ages.

Driving. I’ve been driving a lot recently, ergo, I’m now NOT cooped up in my house most of the time. It always brings me comfort when I’m behind the wheel. It’ll always be one of my favourite things to do. AND getting to drive a BMW 540 Automatic was certainly a real treat! It was the highlight of my week. Hahaha.

More on cars. Getting a call from a friend [you know who you are. hehe.] to ask for my help cuz his car wouldn’t start. I wanted to laugh at the ludicrous-ness of the situation cuz never in a million years did I expect that a guy would call me about a car problem. Btw, my instructions did help start the car. So — am I good or what? Hahaha. 😉

Of course, writing will be a staple thing and will always be a source of entertainment in my book. So, what about you? What are the simple things you do that brings you pleasure and/or entertainment? 🙂

Angry Silence Theory 7 August 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, Quotes, The Brooder.
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“If there’s one thing your loved ones have learned over time, it’s that you don’t express feelings the way others do, especially when it comes to anger. In that case, your preferred method is to shut up — completely — for days, if need be, or until you prove your point. That’s what’s going to happen now. You’ll let the world know you’re displeased through your silence, which, as it turns out, is every bit as formidable as an outlaw brandishing a weapon.”

Purple, Black and Blue 2 August 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, The Brooder.
7 comments

Purple is the colour of royalty. Black is the colour of sophistication. And Blue is the colour of loyalty. These three colours are such lovely hues seen all around us.

Purple flowers.

Black sky studded with stars like twinkling diamonds.

Blue sea.

Memories from places I’ve seen floods my mind. I need these memories. They remind me that life is beautiful. These colours are meant to be beautiful.

Even if they’re not so attractive when left on your skin. They cease to be royal, sophisticated and loyal like they’re meant to be.

I’m such a stupid idiot! 28 July 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, The Rambler.
6 comments

Okay. Darnit. I’ve been around computers for more than 15 years — that’s, like, more than half my life — and for the past 3 days, the machine and I had this quirky love-hate relationship and I ended up wanting to kick myself [yes, not the computer!].

I started noticing some weird characters showing up whenever I punch certain keys, i.e. “1” – the date and time appears, “A” – the currency symbol, , comes with it, etc, and the weirdest thing that ever happened was when I’d punch the “Tab”, it’ll shut the computer down! It was disastrous!

So, I’ve bugged my brother, my cousin and even, Rico, to help me fix it [and all three on the last day]. On the first day, I spent 14 hours downloading and updating my Anti-virus and Ad blocker. I’ve run to and from my cousin’s house to use his DSL connection for faster download time cuz, sadly, I’m still on dial-up. On the second day, I probably checked, cleaned and restarted the friggin’ PC gazillion times that I grew sick of it. On the third day [yesterday] I didn’t let up till my brother gave in to format the sucker. I feel bad cuz he was in dire need of sleep since he hasn’t been getting much lately.

So there we were, him, fixing it and me, supervising. Ha. I was happily anticipating the outcome of the project since I knew it will definitely end my problem. There wasn’t much I can do but wait so I went to a late dinner at Sinangag Express in BF with two people who’ve mistakenly replaced Sinangag with Sinigang. On separate occasions. Hahaha.

When I got home, my brother updates me on how everything turned out and yes — surprise, surprise! — it’s not fixed.

Aaarrrgggh! Nooooo! Kill me, please!!!

But wait. Solution to the problem was quite simple, he said. Buy a new keyboard.

Whaaat??!? That’s it?! Focusing a venomous stare on the monitor, “Who’s the sucker now, eh?” The computer mocks me.

I didn’t need to have spent all those days, errr — nights, waiting for those 1-hour downloads to finish? [but having an updated security software helps me sleep better] or missing out on precious work time? [I’m no workaholic, mind you] OR us formatting the computer? GAH. Goodbye files. Your early demise was all in vain.

At least the computer looks clean, my brother said cheerfully. Oh, the poor thing. He lost sleep doing what I asked him to do. Sigh.

I can only laugh and call myself a stupid idiot. Heh.

So now, I’m back online and tapping my fingers on a brand new keyboard that my brother bought earlier. Halleluiah! I’ve been gone long enough. 😉

Taking a deep, deep breath 5 June 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, The Brooder.
4 comments

If I let go of all the anger in me, I’m afraid to face what’s left. Who will I turn out to be? Thoughts like these never cease to plague me, which brings me to conclude that I may just not change.

A dear friend has seen and heard almost everything about me. She has seen the blackest side of me and the vulnerable side, too. I know how much she wishes I’d just drop whatever I’m holding on to so I can continue with the rest of my life but she knows how stubborn I am. I’m resolute to living through mistakes and face the meanest thing that life may bring my way head on. It seems stupid. I know.

Does that make me brave and strong? Admittedly, I think I’m just too scared to face disappointment so I’d rather have the lowest of expectations than the grandest of hopes. Call me stupid. Again.

It’s funny how I snap at the slightest sign of shady behaviour. I guess I’ve grown way too suspicious of people I know, old and new. Like I’m a good judge of character! Duh.

But I do wonder what lies beyond the anger. This moment clearly gives you a taste of the many times I’ve thought about the ‘what-ifs’ and the ‘should-i’ questions. I’m still searching for a hint of the ‘what’s in it for me’ thingie that the surefooted me expects.

I’m thinking of giving it a try, trashing that expectation and just winging it. Will I land on both feet once I do decide to jump? Will I like who I’d become once I find myself there? It’s quite an obvious answer for most but hell, it’s easier if you’re not in my shoes; if you didn’t go through what I went through.

It’s difficult. I don’t know how I can understand, forgive and love someone whom I’ve loathed for a long time. How can I forget all the things that broke my heart and spirit? How can I unlearn the cold, hard truths of filial, platonic, and romantic relationships? How can I accept the role I have to play as I go on living life as a girl learning to be a woman?

I always feel I’m late for this life. My life.

Conversations 26 May 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, Philosophy & Paradox, The Brooder.
4 comments
    “It’s funny how you stumble upon something that eventually becomes your life’s passion, huh?” She tilts her head.

It really is magical how some things are so common and seemingly irrelevant yet as you age and look back, you’d realize how the trivialities of life become the core of your being. It, sometimes, comes as a surprise on how you’d get to find out what you wanna do and what you’re really meant to do.

    “…It’s funny how we’re all alive and living life.” He answers.

    “Is it funny? there you are studying the theories and mysteries of life, soon you will be able to unlock it. in time, you will get to feel how it is to be ‘God’ somehow.”
    She spats back, good-naturedly.

Not everyone would stop and consider the greatness of creation nor would really study the science behind it all. But once a person does, it’ll be worth it. I can only imagine what things will be revealed to him or her. It’ll be a great honor to have that kind of knowledge.

    “I guess I can say that I am in the process of finding myself. The practicality of life hinders me in leading the bohemian lifestyle that I somewhat long for.” She laughs.

We do long for the simple and easy life, don’t we? Well, it’s already a fact of life that it’ll never be easy. so what? it makes life far more interesting that way, right? The way you would think of and pray for all your dreams to come true before you go to bed at night; or the poignancy of a moment of success or failure; the emotions evoked by the mere walking on the streets of Manila or by the mere listening to conversations or music in a crowded club. Every simple thing that you’d often overlook would somehow crawl into your heart and remind you that you should find joy in the journey. And in every step you will find pieces of yourself until you become whole.

I’m here again, reminded of missed opportunities. But it’s part of life, huh? I’m looking forward to the fulfillment of a promise, though. The past will serve its purpose. A better me, perhaps? I can only hope. The past few days has been a time of recollection and prayer. I am hoping for the best and I will know the answer in a few days. All I have to do is wait, which is something really hard to do.

The end of all pain 23 May 2006

Posted by Sasha in Current Events, Films, Mood Notes, The Brooder, The Rambler.
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… from a toothache.

I gave in and went to the dentist last Saturday afternoon. Imagine, I had no sleep, literally, because I work online at night and by the time I’m scheduled to sleep, it was freaking hot! So I couldn’t sleep. Then add the toothache — that’s why I decided to go the dentist instead and end all the pain! Heh.

After that, someone annoyed the hell out of me before actually heading to the theatre to watch the movie I told you I was gonna watch. Bleh. The movie didn’t help much to uplift my sour mood.

Then for the past couple of days, I was sick. Because of the sore tooth and lack of sleep combined maybe.

I’m gonna stop whinging now.