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Angry Silence Theory 7 August 2006

Posted by Sasha in Mood Notes, Quotes, The Brooder.
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“If there’s one thing your loved ones have learned over time, it’s that you don’t express feelings the way others do, especially when it comes to anger. In that case, your preferred method is to shut up — completely — for days, if need be, or until you prove your point. That’s what’s going to happen now. You’ll let the world know you’re displeased through your silence, which, as it turns out, is every bit as formidable as an outlaw brandishing a weapon.”

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Pride & Vanity 1 June 2006

Posted by Sasha in Quotes, The Brooder.
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“Pride is a very common failing I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed, that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary.

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonimously. A person may be proud without being vain.

Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice

Think About It. 8 May 2006

Posted by Sasha in Quotes, The Brooder.
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“Two things control men’s nature, instinct and experience.” — Blaise Pascal

Routine, Control and Pace 21 April 2006

Posted by Sasha in Quotes, The Brooder.
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If everything seems under control,
you’re not going fast enough.
Mario Andretti

With what’s been happening in my life right now and how I normally handle things, this quote certainly nudged me to consciousness and made me think about the pace I should have in terms of living this life.

I’m totally OC about certain things. I like lists, order, rules [ah, well — sometimes.. ;)], and routines. Yes. I am somewhat organised. I always find myself establishing a routine.

For example, let me tell you about the routine I’ve somehow established for a typical day:

  • Wake up
  • Morning toiletries [not too graphic, eh?]
  • Turn on the PC
  • Make tea while I wait for the PC to boot
  • Yosi break [cigarettes. heh.]
  • Open Outlook and 3 Mozilla browsers [Yay for broadband!]
  • 1st Browser: Open tabs for Gmail, The Parody, Tops 2 Bottoms, Light the Torch, and Dating Dames
  • 2nd Browser: Open tabs for 55 Fiction, b5media, and all 4 b5 blogs stats
  • 3rd Browser: Open tabs for variable sites, i.e. b5 forum, Wikipedia, LTT related sites, etc.
  • Work for approximately 5-6 hours online with occasional food and drinks thrown in between. 😀
  • Have dinner [I’ll miss my sister’s roast dinners…]
  • Late night cigarette sessions out the front [I’ll miss this, too…]
  • Quiet time
  • Sleep

No. I’m not kidding. :p

Well, okay.. there’s that occasional interruption or variation but generally that’s how my days have been like, though, winds of change will blow me toward a different direction soon.

Anyway, I’d like to have that feeling of control over things. If or when there’s something that I don’t know, I’d try my best to learn it. Self-sufficient? Dunno. Just one of my eccentricities, I guess.

If I am to gauge the current pace, I’d say I’m definitely not slacking. I really can’t quantify the stuff that has gone haywire. Things aren’t under control — most definitely. It’s all good though. I’m not really in a hurry now, am I? I’m just treading the path c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y and continue believing that good things come to those who wait. I’ll weather the storm. 😉

Life, Mortality & Existence 15 April 2006

Posted by Sasha in Philosophy & Paradox, Quotes, The Brooder.
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“What makes man a man? A friend of mine once wondered. Is it his origins? The way he comes to life? I don’t think so. It’s the choices he make. Not how he starts things but how he decides to end them.”

At the end of light then comes darkness. A few dwell in it and fewer ponders on its very existence. As a man, we see life filled with colors and shrug off the hues that we consider bland. We often think that the people live in such manner are the snobs but most of the time, it is the ones who live in the dark who looks down on others. People who embrace it remove themselves from the crowd and and silently pity us who are not enlightened.

I am considered one of the common people. A mongrel. I am no magi. Yes, I don’t understand it. I have bits and pieces of the knowledge but I guess I am not fit to live it. Perhaps I choose not to accept it. Ancient thoughts equals great power. I just don’t understand it.

However, this is what I say… I know you exist. I fell victim to the machinations of your ways. Is it humane? Is it to edify mortality? Wanting something outside this weak being, it’s understandable. Seeking paths to immortality has been around since the beginning of everything. It has been the ultimate temptation for man’s fall.

One life.
I will not be able to live this one again. This what makes everything beautiful. The knowledge of an inevitable end. The capacity to make mistakes. To be able to feel every emotion known to man alone.

It is sad that you don’t seem to feel the same way about it.

You know what? I really don’t care anymore. Heh.

Memoirs of a Geisha 4 April 2006

Posted by Sasha in Books, Quotes, The Brooder, The Rambler.
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We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course.

This is why dreams can be such dangerous things; they smolder on like a fire does, and sometimes consume us completely.

Grief is a most peculiar thing; we’re so helpless in the face of it. It’s like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it.

Adversity is like a strong wind. I don’t mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.

memoirsI just finished reading the book, Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I’m amazed by what it gave me. Passages from the book just keep jumping out and creating a huge impression on me. These 4 quotes are just a few of what I’ve written down some have an even more personal effect on me, which I feel is much too vulnerable to share. It’s been said that it’s a flirting 101 book, Japanese-style, however, I don’t see it that way. Sure, you can pick up a trick or two but I see the book differently. It’s rich with dreams, passion, patience and love. It’s difficult to admit but it made me tear up bigtime. It was because of what the novel represents and it really touched a raw nerve. I wouldn’t be surprised if I decide to read it again. Hahaha.

Giving up smoking 7 March 2006

Posted by Sasha in Lights, Mild & Reds, Quotes, The Brooder, The Coffee & Nicotine Addict.
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Wendy Cope
[21 July 1945 – ]

There’s not a Shakespeare sonnet
Or a Beethoven quartet
That’s easier to like than you
Or harder to forget.

You think that sounds extravagant?
I haven’t finished yet —
I like you more than I would like
To have a cigarette.

“People who have never been addicted to nicotine don’t understand what an intense love poem it is.” Wendy Cope

Remembering Breakfast at Tiffany’s 1 March 2006

Posted by Sasha in Dating & Relationships, Quotes, The Brooder.
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“You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it`s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.” Paul, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

I haven’t forgotten what you had told me, “Never fear taking chances.” In fact, I have embraced the concept of taking every opportunity that would come my way. It has been a year since and I still think of you from time to time, more than you actually deserve but I still do it anyway.

I’m free of you and all that you stand for. I no longer run into myself but with. I will never be caged, not in the context of losing my freedom. However, what I will find is a place where my freedom is exercised in true love. Something you will never understand or have.

Time, Lightning and a Journey 29 January 2006

Posted by Sasha in Dating & Relationships, Quotes, The Brooder.
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“You may even end up enjoying where you end up more than you’d have enjoyed where you were going — especially if you’re in the right company.”

Hmmm.. It doesn’t really matter where you are and what you’re doing, huh? All that matters is the fact that you’re with the only one you’re meant to be with. Late or otherwise, as long as he spends the rest of his life holding my hand and talking to me.

“Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is, there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love – well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived. Well, it worries me. I want you to get swept away. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish. Be deliriously happy. Or at least leave yourself open to be. Stay open. Who knows? Lightning could strike.” Bill Parish [Anthony Hopkins] Meet Joe Black

Yes, lightning can strike indeed. I’m waiting.

This certainly brightens up my day. =)

Life + Time 5 January 2006

Posted by Sasha in Philosophy & Paradox, Quotes, The Brooder.
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“The comedy of being chronically late for my own life was lost on me. I was due for something better.”

“…that a sensational future had finally pressed itself up against a heavy, hopeful present, throwing the switch that completes the circuit of time.”

“Strange thing, time. It weighs most on those who have it least. Nothing is lighter than being young with the world on your shoulders; it gives you a feeling of possibility so seductive, you know there must be something more important you could be doing…” Ian Caldwell & Dustin Thomason, The Rule of Four

“He was no longer scared of what tomorrow might bring because yesterday had brought it.” Neil Gaiman, American Gods

I just got home and I thought of going through my old journal. It’s kind of funny in a way because I wrote them down during one of my brooding-about-life moments and the days I would lose myself in books. Hahaha.

These words left me wanting for more books to read. Does this count as part of a mid-life crisis? Teeheehee.