Hey, guys!

Sorry if I’m only making this announcement now but yea, I moved! (Like it’s not obvious, eh? Hehe)

You can find the new and hopefully permanent address of my personal blog, The Parody™, at www.The-Parody.com.

I’ve been, er, busy — too busy, if you ask me! — the past few months and I haven’t really had the time to take care of the moving bit. But you can play catch up since you didn’t miss much, really. Teehee.

• One Day Break (01 November 2006)
• Moving In (12 November 2006)
• Happy Boxing Day, People! (26 December 2006)
• Things That I Miss (07 January 2007)
• Sleepless, Insight of a Fool (21 January 2007)
• The Parodist Unmasked — Er, Sort Of (25 January 2007)

That’s it.

And, oh, I’m still blogging over at Tops 2 Bottoms, Light the Torch and Dating Dames. I’ll give you updates in succeeding posts. (Yea, I’ll still be checking this blog like I have been the past few months. Heehee. I know… the blogger turned lurker — that’s me. Heh.)

Thanks much and I hope you visit me in my new home!!!

P.S. Don’t forget to change the links on your blogroll!

Moving blog to own domain.

It’s been a while since I truly felt how a holiday is treasured by normal working people, er, since I’ve been out of the corporate scene for quite a bit now. Yes. I’m once again braving this world of powersuits, meetings and endless white papers — the typical 9 to 5 job. Gah.

The past couple of weeks were a blur and all I can distinctly note is that I’m now re-learning how to commute mainly with the use of the shuttle that services Ortigas-bound Paranaque folk and basically trying to get to know this part of the metro that I’m not really familiar with. Let me tell you, it’s a real experience. Whew.

When I learned that we get to spend this day off from work, I’m a bit relieved since I’ve been swamped with work. I’m not kidding. Add that to the fact that I’m still adjusting from my former state wherein I used to own and manage my time with an already established routine. Sigh.

Today is a good day. It’s a nice break. Even when a major part of it was used to do some more work, I appreciated the fact that I got to sleep in. I got to spend my “holiday” last night anyway, which was fantastic because I needed some time away from all the things that needed to be done. I needed time to de-stress. I’m thankful for the dinner and the company. Teehee.

Now, the day’s almost over but I’m off to do more work. Gah. I’m looking forward to the weekend.

Call me silly — but, hey, I’m so ecstatic that I’m on WIFI right now. LOL.

It’s courtesy of Abe. Hehehe. We’re currently at Mocha Blends in BF Paranaque, Jayvee is here, too.

Twas so timely when I saw that Jayvee had called my mobile earlier and missed it. Why timely? Cuz I was currently stuck where I was then — Ortigas! Tsssch. It’s been a while since I last commuted, you see. So, I had no idea on how I was gonna get home. Good thing he was with Abe and they agreed to pick me up. Hehehe. We stopped by Metrowalk for some Yoo Hoo pork barbeque and Lechon Manok [roasted chicken] dinner before zooming off to Paranaque. [I got to drive the AdSense Car! Woohoo!]

Anyway, Abe helped me configure my *new* laptop so I can be as geeky about the web like them two. Heehee. It’s soooo cool! I feel like a kid right now.

So, now over a slice of *waaarrrm* apple pie, and glasses of Iced Mocha and House Blend Iced Tea, we continue our conversation on keywords, deep linking and this issue about the < — more — > tag.

Go on. Take it away, boys.

What classifies as old school, you ask? It’s the kind of drinking session that would include individuals who aren’t your usual crowd [tambay, kanto boys, karpintero] and it’s in a place wherein there are makeshift chairs and a table filled with pulutan, i.e. adobong mani, adobong baboy, corned beef, and several bottles of quadro-kanto.

Tenants are moving in by next month, you see, and we’re fixing up a couple of units in the building. My uncle was in charge of the construction work. The week just finished and they got their week’s salary so they decided to unwind a bit by holding a drinking session last night.

I don’t drink Gin — straight. Never liked the taste. So, when my uncle invited me over, I just told him to buy me a couple of bottles of San Mig Super Dry instead. Heehee.

Hanging out with this bunch was a real experience. My uncle’s loud when he’s drunk, hailing from Batangas and all. And the conversation revolved around drinking escapades that ended up in barangay halls or the lights from the police sirens illuminating my uncle’s bedroom ceiling, finding out that they don’t have enough money to pay for the beers they had ordered, how they didn’t like drinking with men whose wives often tow them back to their respective homesteads and, my favourite bit, the best drinking combo that can guarantee you lifeless. LOL.

Want to know what the combo is? Heehee.

It’s fondly called the VIRGIN COKE. But you got to pronounce it the Filipino way — “beer-gin-coke” LOL.

1 bottle of beer
1 Gin bilog
1 12 oz. of Coke

After finishing it, try standing up. You can still stand up after that, you see. But when you sit back down — you won’t be able to again. It will knock you unconscious! Hahaha.

Ah, well — that’s just second-hand information. I haven’t tried it yet. I’ve to make a mental note to only do this at home! LOL. Who dares to try it with me?

Twas a real experience. I got a glimpse of their lives as construction workers and, of course, as regular people. They have dreams. They have problems. They have families. Their lives are less extravagant than mine but, hey, they deserve the same respect I would give a person who owns his own company. After all, they’re good people who are actually making something out of their lives, which I can’t say for some.

I reckon I need more experiences of the same kind to keep my feet grounded. I almost forgot how much life can teach me if only I keep my mind and heart open. Funny — I used to do this a lot before. I guess I need to re-trace my steps.

So, okay. My 3 year-old Nokia 7650 died a few days ago.

Que horror!

Uh — not really. I really don’t get too attached to mobile phones. In fact, most of my friends often complain how I hardly respond to their SMSes just for the reason that, sometimes, I just couldn’t be bothered esp when in the first place, there was no question asked in the message. And I’m more of the “I’ll call you type” than the“SMS type”, if you know what I mean.

But I do admit that my mobile phone is one of the gadgets that’s important to me, basically, for two reasons, [1] communication for personal and work reasons and [2] it serves as my digital pen and paper.

So, when my Nokia suddenly decided to die on me, I had to control myself from freaking out, reasoning that there’s a saner way in dealing with this sort of situation — uh, like buy a new one.

However, I can’t help but notice that most of the electronic devices I’ve been handling are throwing a fit when I as much as touch them. Like how my PC started re-starting on its own a few days ago — found out that it’s RAM and VideoCard needed to be replaced so soon after I bought the new phone. Grrr. Yes, people, I should be posting “the PowerColor 128MB|64-bit ATI Radeon 9250 that blogging bought” [update: just bought a 512MB PC333 DDRAM] alongside this post! Gah.

Anyway, with the help of the ever-reliable Rico, I found a sweet deal on a Motorola RAZR V3. I’ve always wanted to own a clamshell phone, just been waiting for a *really* good Nokia one. But I’ve been eyeing this one from Motorola eversince it came out. Now, I own one. Isn’t it great? Heehee.

Yea, I’ve finally joined the bandwagon, “the [insert item here] that bloggin bought”, and wrote about this cool new toy that I’ve got blogging to thank for. And would you believe that somebody else wrote about this experience, too? Utter coolness.

It’s fun that doing something you love can actually reward you with something like this mobile phone, a camera, a house or an almost house! And yea, you can even count that snack if you consider it as one of blogging’s perks. Heehee.

Yes. Blogging IS this much fun.

When WP.com’s Super Admin announced the birth of the new sidebar widget, Top Posts, a few days ago, it made me think of rounding up the popular posts from the previous month in my b5media blogs.

So, getting on with it then.

Tops 2 Bottoms [Fashion Blog]

Shop Find: Nerdy Shirts™
The Skinny Jean Confidence
No to Tapered Jeans
The Skinny on Tapered Jeans
Oh, So Skinny!

Light the Torch [Olympics & World Sporting Events Blog]

Life Ban for Drug Cheats
Sonja Henie, Female Fred Astaire on Ice
The 1st Gymnast to Score a Perfect 10 in Olympic History
Leon Štukelj, the 100-Year-Old Olympic Legend
Philippines’ Best Hope for an Olympic Gold

Dating Dames [Dating & Relationships Blog]

The Subject of Stereotypes: Risk or Opportunity?
Forbes Best US Cities for Singles
The Girlfriend/Boyfriend Application
10 Signs That Tell You’re A Couple
10 Reasons Why Geeks Make Good Boyfriends

55 Fiction [Fiction Writing]

Wrong Turn
Cold Break
“I like you”
Reverse Psychology
Crazy Eights

There you go.

I hope you get to check them out and see what the fuss is all about. If you leave a comment, it’ll be sooo much better! Teehee. Incidentally, have you seen the popular ones in The Parody™, too? Look to your right, on the sidebar, just below the recent posts. Let me know your favourite!

As she stares across the road, she sees the rubble — remnants of the rundown building that stood there on the now empty lot. She wonders what had become of the people who lived in it.

Out of habit, she takes her nightly coffee and cigarette on her front porch where she could witness, without meaning to, the lives of the building’s tenants.

Memories of an old couple coming down the street, burdened by bags of groceries, obviously had come from the supermarket a couple of blocks away.

A group of kids on their bikes. And a few others playing on the curb.

A single-mom going out on dates with a different man every couple of months, which seems to validate her initial thought about the woman — that she can’t hold on to a guy long enough or perhaps has been choosing the wrong men.

There was also this lady, who she hasn’t figured out whether if she was a spinster or a widow. She would often see her sitting quietly by the window, reading or watering her geraniums, always with Frank Sinatra or Judy Garland playing in the background.

Hearing the shouting matches coming from a middle-aged couple’s unit had become a normal thing. Rumor has it that the husband was cheating on the wife.

And the blaring music from the countless parties thrown by the 3 guys who were rooming with each other. They worked odd jobs, if they worked at all, that it actually amazed her how they could afford paying the rent and throwing those parties.

Tonight, she is left with silence that seem to echo in the empty lot.

She weighs if she misses everything or not. She finds it a bit unsettling since she had grown accustomed to all the noise and the goings on. All she sees now is the sign that says that a private company is building fancy townhouses on the lot.

New neighbours. A whole new set of stories to witness.

However, for the next few months, she’ll be discovering a different scene. The empty lot and a clearing, which allows her to just stare at the night sky. She’s discovering a story that’s been there all along. Her own.

The recent changes makes her wonder if they were all for her benefit. Finding herself alone with her thoughts — yes, thoughts that are her own — gave her the opportunity to re-examine what was missing in her life. Realising that she was so caught up with what’s been going on around her — with other people’s lives — that she forgot how it is to really experience a moment such as this.

Alone. Silence. Seeing the beauty behind all the ugliness that the old building had stood for.

She had felt it wasn’t right for it to be torn down at first but now having had time to really think and experience not having it there anymore, she’s now free to consider the possibilities of what the future can and will bring. There was no stopping it now. She’s letting it happen. She’s starting to believe that once the townhouses are built, her own house will finally feel like her home.

The BlogCon paved a way for us b5′ers to meet up. The ones on the photo are Cellphone9’s Jayvee Fernandez, Simply Thrifty’s Noel Bautista, and Cancer Commentary’s Gloria Gamat. All blogs are part of the b5media Blog Network. That’s why we grabbed this chance to get a photo taken. Cool keepsake, isn’t it?

I hitched a ride with friend and The Smart PDA blogger Rico Mossesgeld to the BlogCon. Thanks, man! BTW, to all the whispered [and blatant!] speculations about “us” being on a date that night — here’s the final press statement — Twas not a date! “We’re just friends!” [Typical showbiz answer, eh? Nyahaha.]

Ma new mate, Bimbo! Major shout out to you! Wehehehe. I’m so glad that I met you. I’m hoping for more blogger meets with you in it!

Like what I already told you, I’m looking forward to seeing your Vespa in person! Teehee.

Gloria! Why art thou liveth in Bicol?! Waaah. I wish you live nearer so we can share more nights filled with bottles of San Mig Super Dry. [Hint! Hint!] I know I can get selfish sometimes. Hahaha.

Abe, I shall call you — Teh Godfather! And we are your Yuga-minions. Heehee.

So, what do you say?

Anyway, that was some fine gig you set up for the Filipino bloggers! Woot! Tis the shizzle! We want an encore! Heehee.

You’re way cool, Elber! Thanks for letting me use your Canon 350D! Twas a real treat! Had Matus let me surf properly, I wouldn’t have talked to you! I’m such a snob, aren’t I? Hahaha.

Alas! We finally meet, Mr. Jonas Diego! Heehee. I didn’t recognise you at first but the name tag helped. Hahaha. I wish you stayed a bit longer, though. And why, oh, WHY are you surrounded by women? Hahaha.

Of course, I did get to see familiar faces cuz I already met them on a different occasion like my cousin, Chris, [Wahahaha! Loved your BlogCon post, by the way!] and Markku.

And I did get to meet other bloggers —

Clair – who mistook me for my sister. Heehee. Tis all good, though. Quite understandable. Eh? Is it? I always thought my sister and I don’t look alike. Ah, well. Hahaha. And there’s Jun, who graciously let us crash their table. Hehehe. And Andrei, who was kind enough to come up and talk to me that night.

Rico did a good job on his numbered list describing what happened that night. Ditto on everything except for:

#5 – since I already know him and he’s a b5′er in my eyes.
#6 – just 1 Super Dry for me. Sigh.
#9 – uh, what is a flash drive? Kidding! Kidding!
#10 – I’m a snob, eh. Nah. Got caught up on talking to Gloria! Hahaha.
#11 – Who??? Again! I’m ONLY kidding! Teehee.
#13 – I’m the passenger! Or the backseat driver?! Gimme the wheel, dammit! Muahahaha.
#14 – Workaholic, aren’t we? Heh. But I did go online, though. Ahehehe.
#15 – Ha. I slept 30 minutes earlier. Hahaha.

What I got out of it?

Weirdest thing, actually.

It’s whenever I link up, I’m now reminded of Marc. Hahaha.

See? I told you it’s weird.

Anyhoo, were you there and I failed to meet you? Did anyone else have a blast like I did? Come on, you can tell me. Heehee.

BTW, you can click on the photos [incidentally, them photos are courtesy of Elber and/or Jayvee -- I just stole borrowed them. Teehee] for a larger view and some more tidbits. Heehee. AND I’m planning to post some more photos. And, oh, can people puh-leeez post some more photos?! I love photos. Heehee.

Not everyone knows that I have a dating blog. Even when links are left every now and then. Teehee. It’s the first time I ever blogged about it here. I reckon it’s not really important if people read it or not read it, for that matter. It’s just there for me.

So, why am I blogging it now?

Well — I simply have got to tell you guys how much I’m digging the new look! Hahaha. If, by any chance, you’ve been over there — pre-new look — can you puh-leez let me know how much it has changed — for the better?! But, in case, you’re a newbie to the site, can you tell me if you like it? [Nevermind what I write about. Just a bunch of nonsense. Hahaha.]

For those who are inept on reading between the lines —

here’s the click-y! —> Truth + Travesty

I’m hoping to get a pat or two on the back. I did mention that I laboured on it for more than 10 friggin’ hours, right? So, come on! Show this proud and *aherm* single blogger some love! Heehee.

Let me know what you think!

P.S. It looks f**ked up in IE but gorgeous on Firefox. I suggest you switch. Heehee.

Blogs. They have become a web phenomenon. Comes real close to them online dating sites. Heehee. Or is it the other way around? Hahaha. Anyway. If you spend a lot of time in the blogosphere, you’ll find that blogs are evolving from the usual day-to-day journalling into interest-centric sites. And a way to measure a blog’s real success is if it has become a place to hang-out for like-minded people on the web, seemingly taking on a forum-like atmosphere. People just keep coming back and not just nameless, faceless “uniques”. Heehee.

Blogging. As a past time, it will only involve writing and checking out other blogs. But if it has become one of the major reasons why you go online, it will take you 8-12 hours to finish — hopefully — whatever that is you’ve set out to do. It includes the usual blog-hopping and template designs that you busy yourselves with.

[Note: I spent around 14 hours on the templates of my 2 other blogs, Truth + Travesty and Hanging Out yesterday!]

Did you know that, in blogging, about 70% – 80% of your time is spent on reading and research alone? I reckon it’s cuz you need to know more to write more. And, of course, we all know that writing plays a huge part in it. So, these things you get to find out can be used as fodders and/or content for blog posts.

There are different styles to writing but one of the most popular ones is the use of a personal tone in communicating with the readers, which, admittedly, can draw them to patronise your blogs more. One thing that I’ve noticed so far is the fact that there are bloggers who emphasize on the importance of creating original content. It is the best way to let your reader know that you do know what you’re talking about. I really have to agree. Heehee.

Bloggers. Building relationships with other bloggers and readers [emails and comments] is what drives us, bloggers, to do what we do. That and, of course, our passion to create awareness on our passions in life — may it be about Philosophy, Politics, Gadgets & Technology, Travelling, and, yea, Love, Dating & Relationships, among other things.

It, sometimes, is sad when I would encounter some bloggers who come off as unfriendly. It will turn me off and will cause me not to go back even when they do have a great blog. I reckon, it is important that you acknowledge the people who stop by your blog. They took the time to leave you a comment and the least that you can do is say hi or something, right? I also find it so amusing how some act like a bunch of highschool kids and have this IN Crowd mentality. Eh? Didn’t they know that everything’s neutral on the net? If you’re planning to adopt that as a blogger, consider yourself UN-linked, sweetie. Heehee. Ah, well — that’s just me.

That’s why I love the warmth in the blogs of Liz, Rico, Connie and Hsien. Apart from the interesting topics, which they cover, I can’t help but notice the rapport they have with their readers. Everyone seems to know everybody. Hahaha. They sure know how to make the reader feel welcome — and, sometimes, you do find yourself wanting to stay!

Who would’ve thought Blogs will hit it big? I’m glad I discovered blogging because a number of the coolest people I’ve met are bloggers!

I wonder what’ll come next? Hmmm. Curious thought.

Rico tagged me for this 7Tube Tagger Game.

Now, I’m tasked to list 7 songs I’m listening to off-late, and 7 people I want to tag to continue the game.

Whaa–?!

It would’ve been better to ask me to list 7 albums not just songs. [grumbles]

“Myu-zik iz zee wahterr o’ mee soul.” Teehee.

Anyway.

Getting on with the game —

1. Sweet Thing by Mary J. Blige [Chaka Khan Cover]
   “Oh, sweet thing, don’t you know you’re my everything?”
2. Every Little Thing by Dishwalla
   “I wish I could be every little thing that you wanted all the time — sometimes.”
3. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
   “We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl.”
4. My Happiness by Powderfinger
   “You’re over there when I need you here.”
5. My Skin by Natalie Merchant
   “Your face-saving promises — whispered like prayers — I don’t need them.”
6. Under The Milky Way by The Church
   “I wish I knew what you were looking for — might have known what you would find.”
7. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
   “If I lay here — if I just lay here — would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

And now, for the tagging part —

1. Shai – that is if you’re not too busy. Heehee
2. Mel – if you’re still not having your kid. Hahaha.
3. Zoe – interesting Lomo, Zoe. Do you find inspiration in music, too?
4. Alistair – The only photographer I know who spends a lot of time taking photos of musicians.
5. Aaron – I noticed that you’re listening to a lot of music lately. Care to take a shot on listing 7 of them? Heehee.
6. Neil – I’m not sure what your take on memes now but I’m hoping to find out about your current picks since the last time I saw a list you made, I was impressed.
7. Angelo – Hi, Mr. NBA Obsessed. Hehehe.

Okay, people. Carry on then.

Abe announced it first. Jayvee said something about it, too. A number will follow suit, I’m sure. Heehee.

What is a BlogCon, anyway?

For now, it’ll be an informal meet-and-greet type of thing for bloggers. It’s scheduled on the 25th at National Sports Grill in Greenbelt 3, Makati.

Interested? Go register here.

You’ll let me know if you’re going, right..? Please?!

This photo is a current favourite.

Rico took it with Raissa’s cam when the three of us went out last Friday. Thanks for the Brooklyn pizza, Rico.

Wait a minute — did anybody thank me for Figaro??? Sheeesh. What ever happened to common courtesy? Hmpft!

I digress.

The photo’s quite messy at the beginning but I worked on it till I was able to achieve the look that it has now. My main objective was to make it presentable enough so I can upload it to my Flickr.

So — what do you think?

A photo says a lot, don’t you agree? [Subtext. Subtext. Hahaha.]

I got hooked! Hahaha.

If you really know me, I’m really not a big fan of watching YouTube videos. Too busy doing other things. But I noticed that there’s this buzz around the web about the said Lonelygirl15 videos so I decided to check what it was all about.

Ack. I thought I’d watch just one but I ended up watching it from beginning to the last installment [or was it?] Hahaha.

I’d like to tell you what it was all about but I just can’t find the right way to describe it without rambling on. Let me just let you in on what I think are the highlights of the “soap”. Heehee.

• Doe-eyed Bree
• Daniel, “the friend”
• P. Monkey [P stands for "Purple"]
• “Proving Science Wrong”
• And Bree’s Dad

Of course, since the video’s are home-made and the whole thing certainly seemed like a video web diary of a young girl, the millions who have viewed them thought the videos to be “real” but in reality, it’s just an experiment done by 3 friends on a different approach in storytelling.

It was only last week when the creators announced what the videos are. It caused some negative feedback from some viewers even if the videos weren’t really intended to deceive their viewers. I reckon it just shows how the actors and the creators made everything “believable”.

If this is the new trend for soaps, it’s far better than the ones on TV since it’s interactive. [Yea, the creators incorporate viewer feedback onto the succeeding episodes. Cool, eh?]

I’ll leave you with the link to the last video I watched. [Since WordPress wouldn't allow me to leave an embed thingie here. =P ]

As a blogger who started with just raw writing skills and mediocre tech skills, I’m amazed with what I’ve learned in the past 2 years. Ack. 2 years?! Who would’ve expected that I’d take blogging this seriously! Hahaha. What started out as random musings documented in my Multiply blog became a growing ripple of conundrums that stretched to a broader spectrum. I found myself plunging into the abyss of amateur blogging at Blogger with a Lifestyle blog and a Dating Blog, both taking on a personal tone on the topics. Then came my Fashion blog with it’s own domain, which fortunately became part of b5media. Catapulting me into the world of problogging.

WTF?! What do I know of HTML, blogging platforms, SEO, template designs and Technorati? But, hey, with a bucket of patience, a barrel of hardwork and with humongous help from Google, I was able to learn enough to survive. Heehee.

But I still do worry about not doing this blogging thingie effectively. [It is work, after all!]

So, when I found out that I’m somewhat using Technorati tags “quite well” at Tops 2 Bottoms, I was so happy! What a compliment! It means I am doing something right. Hahaha.

And, of course, for every blogger, compliments are not just adjectives directed to physical attributes [uh, cuz we've only got machines connecting us?], but, more importantly, it’s the links, i.e. a link post at The Smart PDA to T2B’s Armani-fied. However, telling us that we write well and we’ve successfully covered a useful topic for you, ranks all the same. Personally, I immensely enjoy seeing you guys leave a comment on my posts. It just shows that you want to interact with me and the rest of the readers of my blog! It’s so cool!

Bloggers are so easy to please, eh? Well, alright — at least, this blogger, that is. Hahaha. [I guess some can be such snobs. Heehee. Don't worry. I'm one of the nice ones. ]

So, remember — compliments are always welcome [Hint! Hint!] and keep the comments coming.

The Philippines. My country. Known for it’s amazing sands, surf and *aherm* beautiful women. Heeheehee. [Tell me if I'm wrong I dareya! ] But since it’s a tropical country, there’s always the monsoon season. Yes. Rains. Heavy Rains. So, the water ain’t limited to beaches or pools anymore. You can experience them on the streets, too. Heehee. Yea, I’m talking about major flooding of streets, man. Let’s give it up for the DPWH people for their great upkeep of the drainage system and for all the disciplined people for their generous cooperation in waste management.

Makati. The city I consider my 2nd home. It sheltered me for a time and I can always rely on it being there to be a place that I can retreat to whenever I want to lose myself in the crowd.

However, it’d been more than a month since I was there and it was just last Friday did I decide to go back [cuz I've been spending a lot of time in Alabang or BF] since I was just picking my friend up at Salcedo Village and drive back to hang out at BF. Wrong move. Apparently.

Major Flooding. I should have heeded the obvious signs! Rain. Friday. Makati. It’s like a recipe for disaster! Grrrr. I’d like to kick myself for not having considered the possibility of floods in Mayapis and/or Buendia [my usual route going to Salcedo Village]. A 30-minute drive turned into a 2 and a quarter-hour torture! Gah!

The situation which I found myself in tried my driving skills. Picture me in a Revo [thank God for that, too] driving through floods, manouvering through the tight traffic, made a 3-point turn on a railroad, dismissed the fact that I’m passing in a one-way street, snaked my way along Ayala Avenue — all with corresponding bursts of speed on instances that had allowed me to. Heeheehee. It was exhaustingly stressful.

Note to self: If I’m planning to go to Makati on a Friday night and it’s raining, brave the heavy Ayala traffic instead, at least it makes more sense than getting marooned [so to speak] on an elevated railroad.

I just got settled [sort of..] in a new place. It’s a place that I’d like to call my “bachelor” pad. Hehehe.

I’ve been packing and un-packing — moving my arse around — so much that it’s becoming funny. It makes me feel like I’m a nomad.

But I’m seeing this as an opportunity to be more grounded and sane. Perhaps it will do me a whole lot of good, now that I’m in a different place. I’m hoping that it’ll provide a new perspective in my life.

And oh, it comes with a perk… I’m now on ADSL. Heeheehee.

I’m one of those people who live a pretty laid-back lifestyle. I don’t take everything too seriously — but that doesn’t mean that I can’t because I can. I guess I’m just saying that it would take a lot to ruffle my feathers and I take pleasure in simple things. Heehee.

I’m guilty of not posting much lately. I can’t come up with a good enough reason — sorry. Heh.

But I’d like to enumerate the things that entertained me these past couple of weeks.

Gig Night. Shared a couple of beers with Rico at 1740 Bistro to hear my friends play. Finally a gig that’s not in Tagaytay! Hahaha. Though, I would’ve enjoyed the roadtrip. Anyway, it has become a ritual that every new friend goes through — sort of like an initiation — meeting these 4 guys [Ram, Joey, Joel and Oliver] of Streamline. Don’t ask why. I’m not telling. Hehehe.

DVD Marathons. Note: emphasis on it being plural. I actually finished 2 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and 7 seasons of Sex and the City. I’m now on the first season of The OC. I’m keeping my mind off blogging for a bit. Don’t hate me. Hahaha.

Photography. I had the opportunity to do a lot of it over the weekend. It was a bit challenging since I was expected to cover an actual event — a kid’s birthday party. Heehee. But it certainly felt good getting behind the camera once again. Plus the fact that a friend said that he didn’t realise that I was actually really good at it [he got it wrong perhaps? Hahaha.] and went on to ask for pointers. I was so flattered. Hahaha.

Dicovery Channel’s RIDES. I caught the episode, Foose’s 69 where they worked on a Chip Foose-designed 1969 Camaro. I saw a lot of Mustangs like the Eleanor [seen in the movie, Gone in 60 Seconds], Shelby G.T. 350 [my dream car] and the amazing Shelby G.T. 350R [the exact car that Joe Johnson drove].

Random Quote Javascript. Adding it on one of my blogs is a cause for a small celebration. Hahaha. I’ve been wanting to do that for ages.

Driving. I’ve been driving a lot recently, ergo, I’m now NOT cooped up in my house most of the time. It always brings me comfort when I’m behind the wheel. It’ll always be one of my favourite things to do. AND getting to drive a BMW 540 Automatic was certainly a real treat! It was the highlight of my week. Hahaha.

More on cars. Getting a call from a friend [you know who you are. hehe.] to ask for my help cuz his car wouldn’t start. I wanted to laugh at the ludicrous-ness of the situation cuz never in a million years did I expect that a guy would call me about a car problem. Btw, my instructions did help start the car. So — am I good or what? Hahaha.

Of course, writing will be a staple thing and will always be a source of entertainment in my book. So, what about you? What are the simple things you do that brings you pleasure and/or entertainment?

Reading Abe’s post on the topic, I found out that my fashion blog isn’t included on the list. Curious thought. Getting a PR6 on Tops 2 Bottoms didn’t help it one bit, eh? Oh, well. Perhaps my stats didn’t do well.

Blog ranking of the Pinoy blogs is based on how they fare on Technorati. So I went ahead and double checked my current ranking at the said site.

Lo and behold! Will you look at my stats —> Rank: 14,521 (224 links from 158 blogs)

Huh. I guess there’s an oversight, eh? I would’ve ranked 30th had they included me. I wonder how Light the Torch will do? It has twice as much links than that of my fashion blog. Hahaha. If only Technorati will let me claim it. Grrr.

So, yea — my two, not badly ranked by technorati, blogs aren’t on the list. Right. I’m griping about it. Ha.

Oh, I have a theory — perhaps they think I’m not Filipino enough? Hahaha.

Go figure.

Side note: Happy for my sister for making it to #3. Utter coolness.

UPDATE: Tops 2 Bottoms is now ranked #30 on the list! Thanks, Abe!

Earlier, I discovered that I can’t post any comment on my own blog. It puzzled me. But I just decided to move on and continue with my usual blog-hopping. When I tried leaving a comment at Liz’s, nothing happened. I tried it again. Yea, you guessed it — nothing. Arrggh. So, I went back here to figure things out.

Rico was online at that time so I went ahead and bugged him. He told me to clear the cache, I thought of running the AV and AB, and, of course, he made me do the classic re-starting of the PC. Not much help, really. But he patiently looked — interlaced with hearty WTF exclamations — at every possible angle, save one. That one thing was the thing I figured it out on my own in the end.

I found all my comments in the Akismet spam box [note: this garnered a fresh wave of WTFs from Rico]. I felt so confused and helpless.

What the hell was going on?! How am I suppose to fix it? Pffft.

Later on, when I mentioned it to Matt, he also tried to help me out. But we all know that there’s nothing much we can do but to simply get in touch with the people behind Akismet so that they can fix it. Well, that’s where my channel editors step in because, sadly, even my b5media blogs are affected, too. [Thanks in advance, guys!]

Anyway, Liz and I had this very interesting — and really funny — email conversation about my Askimet experience.

Hi Sasha! Your comments went to Akismet. i only kept one. It’s there now.
— LIZ

Hi, Liz! I thought so. I’m currently having problems with it. Akismet likes my comments so much that it eats up even the ones I leave on my own blog. Sigh. I don’t know how to fix it. Grrr.
— ME

I was having that same problem… Akisment was eating my own comments too.
— LIZ

Hahaha. Imagine my frustration but Rico was with me every step of the way. However, it was me who figured things out in the end. Hahaha.
— ME

I can imagine your frustration. As you know it’s even more fun, when you can’t find your own comments on your own blog!
— LIZ

True. But I guess I have to deal with a bit of extra work for now. It’s a bit ironic, actually. Just after we talked about how to encourage more comments and this happens, eh? Hahaha. Ah, well.
— ME

Akismet, just asked if you would pass the condiments, please.
— LIZ

I’m a bit slow on the uptake. That’s a joke, right? Hahaha. I’m holding onto the salt, sorry.
— ME

Yeah, Akismet is still hungry.
— LIZ

Well, Akismet has to settle for the bland taste. Heh. For now, think of Askimet suffering from bulimia.
— ME

I’m still laughing at that one. Perhaps we should get Akismet a mirror.
— LIZ

Shweeet! Or perhaps we can call Dr. Phil?
— ME

Wonder whether Dr. Phil would interview Akismet on his radio show?
— LIZ

Nah. It’ll be hard to understand Akismet’s words if the mouth’s full, right?
— ME

That one got me. LOL. Akismet probably has some weird WordPress accent anyway. speaks in code I bet.
— LIZ

Totally hilarious!!!

Well, I’m cutting it short. I reckon you already know where the conversation was going.

Oh, Liz! Thanks for the comical relief to an otherwise irritating situation. It just proves just how nice you really are! First was my being one of the Successful Blog SOBs, now, making me laugh through this Akismet issue. Hahaha.

Right now, I’m just waiting for everything to be fixed.

/crosses her fingers

P.S. I dare you to continue the conversation. I had a hard time keeping up with Liz!

I’ve always loved dancing. Either performing, clubbing, or as a form of exercise. That’s why I love watching movies about anything that involves the art, i.e. Dirty Dancing, Honey, Centerstage, Save the Last Dance. So, whenever there’s a movie out that includes dancing in it, I’m surely inclined to watch it.

Enters a new movie coming up, Step Up.

I came across it when I saw a Sean Paul video a few days ago, which showcased some clips from the movie and, of course, it certainly piqued my interest. Hehehe. I knew I had to see the movie but the downside was that I didn’t know when it’s gonna hit the theatres here in Manila.

So, the ever impatient me, I googled it to find out more and I was also hoping to find the trailer. Ha. My search didn’t end in vain. Thanks to apple.com, not only did I watch the trailer, it also led me to the movie’s website so I learned bits more about it. Guess what? It’s now playing — elsewhere. Pffft.

That Channing Tatum is one fine thing. Yummy. The eyes, those lips and that body… he’s the shizzle. A certified hottie! And man, can he move! /sighs Okay. Okay. I’ll stop drooling now. Heh. Well, he also starred in the Samuel L. Jackson movie about basketball, Coach Carter, last 2005 and the last movie I saw him in was the one he did with Amanda Bynes, She’s The Man.

Anyway, I’m hoping the movie comes out this week. If it does, you can bank on it that I’ll be queueing up at the nearest ticket booth and yea, I’ll definitely let you know how it fares. That is, if you’re interested. Hehehe.

Meanwhile, I suggest that you check out the trailer and watch out for that cute little kid who shushed Channing at a ballet class — it cracked me up.

Hanging out at Liz’s was sure loads of fun!

I was just talking to her about how much I agree with her 10 reasons why readers don’t leave comments and how much I wish my readers would just talk to me that same day when she told me that I should hang with them. It’s quite a novel thing really and it was a great place to meet interesting people.

I met Ben who knows where Basil is, Wendy who offers women some blogjolt, Chris who, I heard, has a gorgeous wife, Becky who supplied the drinks that night, and I know I’ve forgotten some people. Sorry.

Can you imagine just how much comments there were that day? 464 comments, man! Now, that’s what I call a blog with a voice — uh, several at that. Hahaha.

Twas a great time. I really had fun. So, if you have time next Tuesday night [uh, around 8-ish AM my time], head on over to Liz’s SOB, and jump in. Everyone is welcome!

“If there’s one thing your loved ones have learned over time, it’s that you don’t express feelings the way others do, especially when it comes to anger. In that case, your preferred method is to shut up — completely — for days, if need be, or until you prove your point. That’s what’s going to happen now. You’ll let the world know you’re displeased through your silence, which, as it turns out, is every bit as formidable as an outlaw brandishing a weapon.”

Last week, I received my very first fan email. My friend and I actually made a joke out of it cuz it means I have a fan club. Get it? Not plural? Heh. I give up. I can never pass as a comedian no matter how hard I work on it. Well, it was funny when we were talking about it. Pffft.

Moving on.

I found it funny because it went like this:

Dear Sasha,

xxx

Crikey! Did he honestly think I’d go out and meet a total stranger? Eeek. So I said no, politely. I did offer to correspond with him but, of course, I needed to know certain things, i.e. which blogs were he reading, where he was from, why he wants to meet me in person, etc. Twasn’t like I gave him the third degree, I didn’t. Hahaha.

Uh-oh. What if he reads this blog? Or – or — he bumps into me while he’s here in Manila? Eeek.

/bites her fingernails

Pffft. Yea, right. Like that would really scare me. Heh.

Earlier this week, my brother influenced me to watch all four of the Potter films. Believe me, I’m not one of those who would clamor bookshops to buy the latest release. I wasn’t even inclined to watch the movie when the first one came out. Come to think of it, neither did I for the succeeding ones. I only got to watch them on HBO or DVD.

Monday, it was The Sorcerer’s Stone. Tuesday, it was The Chamber of Secrets. Then, finally, last Wednesday, it was the last two, The Prisoner of Azkaban and The Goblet of Fire.

It was because he got hooked on the Harry Potter eBooks he found online. He’s been reading it at work. Imagine, by Wednesday, he was halfway through with the third book. Geez. I had to ask him if he still manages to get any work done.

“Work? What work?” he laughingly told me. Don’t get me wrong, he’s just the type who gets bored easily if his tasks are easy. He’s a software engineer. Bright kid, I tell you. [Can't you tell that I'm a proud sis? Hehehe.]

Anyway, now I think I’m infected with the bug. I think I want to read the books. Ack.

Purple is the colour of royalty. Black is the colour of sophistication. And Blue is the colour of loyalty. These three colours are such lovely hues seen all around us.

Purple flowers.

Black sky studded with stars like twinkling diamonds.

Blue sea.

Memories from places I’ve seen floods my mind. I need these memories. They remind me that life is beautiful. These colours are meant to be beautiful.

Even if they’re not so attractive when left on your skin. They cease to be royal, sophisticated and loyal like they’re meant to be.

Okay. Darnit. I’ve been around computers for more than 15 years — that’s, like, more than half my life — and for the past 3 days, the machine and I had this quirky love-hate relationship and I ended up wanting to kick myself [yes, not the computer!].

I started noticing some weird characters showing up whenever I punch certain keys, i.e. “1″ – the date and time appears, “A” – the currency symbol, €, comes with it, etc, and the weirdest thing that ever happened was when I’d punch the “Tab”, it’ll shut the computer down! It was disastrous!

So, I’ve bugged my brother, my cousin and even, Rico, to help me fix it [and all three on the last day]. On the first day, I spent 14 hours downloading and updating my Anti-virus and Ad blocker. I’ve run to and from my cousin’s house to use his DSL connection for faster download time cuz, sadly, I’m still on dial-up. On the second day, I probably checked, cleaned and restarted the friggin’ PC gazillion times that I grew sick of it. On the third day [yesterday] I didn’t let up till my brother gave in to format the sucker. I feel bad cuz he was in dire need of sleep since he hasn’t been getting much lately.

So there we were, him, fixing it and me, supervising. Ha. I was happily anticipating the outcome of the project since I knew it will definitely end my problem. There wasn’t much I can do but wait so I went to a late dinner at Sinangag Express in BF with two people who’ve mistakenly replaced Sinangag with Sinigang. On separate occasions. Hahaha.

When I got home, my brother updates me on how everything turned out and yes — surprise, surprise! — it’s not fixed.

Aaarrrgggh! Nooooo! Kill me, please!!!

But wait. Solution to the problem was quite simple, he said. Buy a new keyboard.

Whaaat??!? That’s it?! Focusing a venomous stare on the monitor, “Who’s the sucker now, eh?” The computer mocks me.

I didn’t need to have spent all those days, errr — nights, waiting for those 1-hour downloads to finish? [but having an updated security software helps me sleep better] or missing out on precious work time? [I'm no workaholic, mind you] OR us formatting the computer? GAH. Goodbye files. Your early demise was all in vain.

At least the computer looks clean, my brother said cheerfully. Oh, the poor thing. He lost sleep doing what I asked him to do. Sigh.

I can only laugh and call myself a stupid idiot. Heh.

So now, I’m back online and tapping my fingers on a brand new keyboard that my brother bought earlier. Halleluiah! I’ve been gone long enough.

I think I’m turning into an M. Night Shyamalan groupie. It was only a few weeks prior the showing of his new film did I see a documentary about him and his films that my cousins and I got into talking about the theories presented in it. Then upon hearing about this brand-spanking new film, I knew I had to see it. Ha.

He’s known for his other films like Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs and The Village. People who know me, I’m such a scared-y cat. They know how the film, Sixth Sense, freaked me out. [I couldn't sleep alone for the next three months following!] Among his popular films, it was only Signs that I haven’t seen yet. Incidentally, did you know that all these films were shot within a 30-mile radius of Philadelphia? Well, that’s a bit of trivia for you. Hehehe.

Anyway, last Friday, we headed to the Greenbelt 3 cinemas and saw Lady In The Water. I can’t say I had the grandest time scaring myself because I wasn’t at all. Go figure. [It wasn't meant to be a scary movie, Sash. Heh.] There are some memorable lines and the one that became the favourite was, “Mr. Heep is a playa’!” And Night’s cameo wasn’t a cameo at all! [He always does a cameo in all his films like Hitchcock.] He was actually part of the cast! He wasn’t bad — he actually did good considering. And I have to applaud him for a great story well-told. He’s uber-talented.

After that we just hung out at Temple till 3am and talked about how guys leer at girls in clubs, pointing out how they seem to ask for it. Heh. And how guys try to get the girl and fill their little black books. Hahaha.

After much bugging from a certain person [Oh, you know who you are. Heh.], I now have finished chronicling this weekend’s debauchery. Incidentally, Trini, who had no clue about blogging till that time she laboured a portion of her life mingling with bloggers, is also looking forward to this post. Read on and you’ll probably know why. Hehehe.

Friday

My friends called to tell me that we’re going out for coffee. So, I hauled my arse over to 6750 after picking my good friend, Raissa, up in Valero, meeting up with Happy and Marivic. We had pizza and pasta at A Veneto when we realised that we’re actually hungry. It was basically a night filled with a lot of girltalk.

My brother, Arnold, was hitching a ride with me in his car [I borrowed it. Hehehe.] so he joined us for coffee. Wrong move since he was tortured mercilessly about his lovelife or lack thereof — wait! — Or was it blossoming? /winks

I’ve graciously included some photos taken that night. [See image above]

This is the longest and the most interesting night out of the lot. Hold on a sec. It’s the most interesting night in my life. Full stop. Well, alright — so far. Hahaha.

EDIT: Images on the right are courtesy of Abe’s Yugatech.

And please don’t mind my pouty lips. No teasing! Hahaha.

Saturday

First on the itinerary for the night was the Blogger Meet at Italianni’s where I met other bloggers like Abe, Anton, Noel, Angelo, Dickoy and Gail. Markku was there but I wasn’t able to talk to him at all, unfortunately. Of course, Jayvee was there and my cousin, Chris, joined in the ruckus, which was totally cool!

A few of us who stayed behind headed over to UVA for dinner for my dear friend, Trini and I and desserts for the rest. They tried UVA’s specialty, Choc-Nut Ice Cream. It was then when Rico of Creative Weblogging’s The Smart PDA, who came with a friend, Nana, joined us. It was a great night spent with people who shared the same passion for blogging. Coolness. And courtesy of Abe’s new DSLR, we have mementos that you can check out.

Moving on to the most interesting part of the night. This one actually beat my first night in Melbourne!

It was like something taken out of Ian Wright’s VIP Weekends! What can you say about partying VIP style? I mean, complete with bodyguards and all? That’s right! That’s exactly what I had after the Blogger Meet. I ditched my lychee martini at UVA to party at Embassy’s VIP Lounge.

Ella came with a bodyguard and ushered us in. A bit lost at first, it being my first time at the highly discriminating club, now I find myself partying at the VIP Lounge nonetheless! Ha. It was totally weird. I wasn’t used to having the dancefloor cleared out for me so I can dance or to just hold out my cigarette and somebody will light it for me or have a security guy follow you around even if you’re just going to the toilet. Wouldn’t it freak you out? Hahaha. I remember the poor guy who tried to chat me up but got stonewalled, he didn’t stand a chance. What about those people who got shooed off the VIP booth in Embassy because we came back? Dear me.

Come to think of it, I don’t mind being chauffeured by a fully uniformed driver, complete with the hat and all, in a BMW 7-series, hopping from one club to another. Or the fact that you have this whole entourage arriving with you that the crowd over at Citrus can’t miss. Having friends like Sid definitely has its perks even if you’d be forced to move once a certain Senator, alongside a bigger set of entourage, decides to grace that particular club you’re in. Heh. Kidding Sid. Just always remember, you’re the real deal compared to him.

How can I forget this last bit? My Tequila shots and Vodka rocks were completely free! Ack! Even when you offer to pay, they wouldn’t hear it! Sheesh. The principles of the filthy rich, eh? Despicable. Hahaha.

It sucks that I don’t have photos to share.

I got home and hit the sack a little over 8 AM, Sunday. Yes. I’m a certified party animal. Yech. Can you imagine the intense hang-over I suffered when I woke up? It was a wonder I was able to drive my friend, who lives all the way to Laguna, earlier. Gah. I’m running on borrowed time me thinks.

Sunday

Yes. I still went out even though I had quite a long night. I met up with Jayvee, Rico and Nana at the Old Swiss Inn at Alabang. I missed the fondue. Darnit. I wonder whose fault was it. Hmmm. Anyway, we moved to Petron Alabang, a nearby petrol station, to have some beer and conversation. I didn’t realise how much I missed San Mig Super Dry till then. Too bad they were in cans. Sigh. What did we talk about? Blogging, my crazy VIP party experience, love and cricket. Hahaha. Yea, we kept things simple.

Yes. There’s more! Teeheehee.

Monday

I just attended my cousin’s wedding and hung out at the hotel, had Champagne, chips and more food… well — basically bugged the newlyweds. Hahaha. I enjoyed the food immensely. I was just frustrated that I couldn’t eat more than I did. Grrr.

See?! I told you it was a long weekend. Hahaha. I hope you had fun reading as much as I did writing and reminscing it.

~ FIN ~

The Long Weekend

A see-saw of emotions. Irritated in the afternoon, laughing and having a blast from dinner till wee hours in the morning, got upset 5 hours prior to this posting, and now I’m absolutely ecstatic upon finding out that my fashion blog now has a PR of 6! *high pitch scream*

For those of you who don’t know that I do have a fashion blog, there’s a conveniently placed link here in this post that will lead you to Tops 2 Bottoms. Where? Well, if you can’t find it, it wasn’t meant for you, my blog and myself to get better acquainted. Heh.

What does PR mean?

Page Rank — Google’s.

So what if you got a ranking of 6?

It really doesn’t affect you, the reader. It’s purely for selfish and egotistical reasons. If you’re a blogger, you’d understand what I’m talking about. Hahaha.

Where do I see that PR thingie?

You’ve got to have the Google Toolbar installed. It’ll become part of your browser. If you don’t want to install it then you can use the SEO Tool.

Well, enough about the serious stuff. It’s time to paarrttyy!! Woohoo!

Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy.

I’m currently listening to this song for the nth time today. I’m addicted. I just might have memorised the lyrics by this time! Heh.

Anyway, I cheated and just decided to google the lyrics so I can check what the band, Switchfoot, was singing about. I was so intrigued as to why I’m drawn to the song because usually the reason I’d like a song is because I can relate to it so imagine my surprise when I find this:

They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you need to leave.
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be.

When everything inside me
Looks like everything i hate
You are the hope i have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take

You guessed it — this is now considered a current favourite.

I also liked the carrier single and album title, The Beautiful Letdown.

“I don’t belong here..”

Can you guess what mood I’m in right now? I bet $5 you can’t. Teehee.

I had to laugh when my sister tagged me to do this. I’m now forced to sit down and mull it over. Hahaha. When I started reading hers, I had this sinking feeling that I’ll see my name at the bottom of the post. Why? We’ve talked about this several times and she can only shake her head cuz I can’t seem to make up my mind on what my “Ideal Guy” is. She’s been telling me to make a list so I can focus on the important things and drop the rest. Just so you know, I did try! So, it didn’t turn out as expected, I ended up making fun of it but I’m now trying to redeem myself, right? Hehehe.

Okay. I need to highlight 8 things about a guy that I can consider my ideal. Hmmm. Fine. I’m listing them in no particular order.

I simply have to be attracted to him!

Like what my dear friend, Trini, and I were talking about a couple of days ago, it’s basically a given that you’ll get tired of the guy after you’ve been married for a bit so I wouldn’t want to end up with someone I can’t stand looking at when I wake up in the morning! Heh. Don’t ask me for details cuz that’s a whole other list! Hahaha.

He has to be passionate.

May it be about a particular cause, a dream, his work — more importantly about me and our life together. Oh, yea — he acts on it.

He has to be learned and articulate.

I love a good conversation. I love engaging in a good argument for time to time or just bouncing off theories left and right. I have a deep passion for learning. My man should be able to keep up or better yet, he is able to offer more than I am able to. This includes grammar and pronunciation. I find eloquence sexy. Hehehe.

He has to have a great sense of humour and wit.

A guy who takes himself way too seriously is boring and downright selfish. Heh. It’s admirable if I see that he can laugh about things and doesn’t break under pressure. It doesn’t hurt if he can make me laugh and entertain me with stories about what makes life beautiful.

He has to be sophisticated.

I’m heavily attracted to a guy who’s worldly, someone who’s completely aware of what’s out there. This means there’s a sense of adventure. It doesn’t really matter if he’s well-traveled or not, he only has to have that desire to see the world. There’s something about a refined guy that’s so magnetic.

He has to be sensible and affectionate.

I love hugs, cuddles and a thousand sweet kisses everyday. I want a man who’s able to offer them when able and necessary. I’m uber-sweet and I want that to be reciprocated. I’m moody and have irrational expectations on certain occasions so it is “ideal” to be with someone who can deal. Hahaha.

He has to have talent.

It can be that he plays a sport, he writes, he dances, he sings or he plays an instrument. It shows that he’s creative and won’t stand around letting life pass him by. Actually — I’d love to end up with a footballer or a rockstar but I know that’s reaching. Hahaha.

He has to be responsible.

It encompasses the following traits: committed, trustworthy and secure. He knows what his responsibilities are so I will feel secure that my life with him is set and will not be easily shaken.

Now for the fun part! The 8 people I’m tagging:

Ron – because I know underneath the player, lies not a naked woman but a guy looking for an ideal. Well, it’s just me giving you the benefit of the doubt. Heh.

Mel – even if I know you’re married, I’m curious cuz we haven’t had this conversation before.

Matt – oh, you know I’m curious about you, right?

Chris – because I want to know who the lucky girl might be, dear cuz!

Karl – I hear you’re getting married so this must be an easy one for you!

Armi – I know you’re dating Mr. Perfect, sweetie, but still! I want to know your ideal.

Jonas – because I’ve noticed how gorgeous the women in your drawings are, now I’m curious if they epitomise your ideal.

Zoe – because I know the person behind the camera has an eye for beauty, I’d like you now to focus that artistic eye on a guy and tell me what you see.

Sweet.

I’d get to put a face on the text I’ve laboured on reading night after night. What am I talking about? Well, it’s an invitation to go to the blogger meet up. You can check the details over at Jayvee’s.

Isn’t it exciting? [Imagine me squirming in my seat while I pound on the keyboard kind of excitement] It’s the second meet up they’ve arranged and I’ve agreed to come this time ’round! I simply can’t resist a free beer. Ha! Seriously, I reckon it’s a great thing to meet other bloggers in person, isn’t it? Now, I’m hoping that you guys will be interested, too. If you’re already planning to go, just leave a comment here or on Jayvee’s post.

I hope I’d get to see and meet you there!

I’ve been covering the World Cup 2006 over at Light the Torch for a while now and I’ve been totally enjoying every minute of it.

I’ve been writing about how I’m rooting for Australia and I was absolutely ecstatic when they made it to the round of 16. I was so frustrated when Italy beat them.

I’m also rooting for England and boy, was I down when I heard that Owen’s injured and had to leave Germany. And it was also frustrating when Portugal beat them in the Quarter-final. Friggin’ PSOs! First, it was Argentina losing to Germany, now, it’s the Brits. Heh.

Anyway, what I enjoyed writing the most was about France beating the world’s #1, Brazil! It was unbelievable! Hahaha.

I can’t help but wonder who’ll end up competing in the Finals. Too bad for Brazil, their winning streak is over.

I know this is soooo last minute but I thought I’d let you know that I’m giving away two tickets for tonight’s showing of the movie, Superman Returns!

Well, alright there’s a catch. It’s just an easy task, though!

If you know all 4 b5media blogs I write in, go visit them and leave a comment [will be used as criteria, so relevance please!] on all blogs and send me an email to my b5media address after. First one that checks out will immediately hear from me.

So, if you’re in Manila and would like to see the movie, just get the task done and I’ll schedule the meet up [yea, you get to meet me, too! Isn't it great? Hahaha].

Movie starts at 8pm, so deadline of submissions will be at 3pm.

Sunday at Alabang Town Center, I had a late lunch at Italianni’s with my highschool friends. It was actually a feat that the rest of us who are still here in Manila are present.

It was just last Friday that I decided to schedule this meetup. It was a first since it’s always been Mel who does the inviting. But this time since she and her husband might be leaving for the US next week, I decided to take over.

A quick shout out to the very preggy, Mel and her husband Jon, our unanimously elected big sis, Candice, Atty. Ricky Moldez II and his wife, Ai, who happens to be a lawyer, too! The always late, Jo, next is Joanne, our resident accountant, and the “prodigal” friend, Jason. Hehehe. And oh, Ricky’s 3 year-old son, Third, who complained that he had an itchy bum. Teehee.

Actually, Mel already mentioned this meet up on her blog but I thought it’ll be cute to reminisce bits about it that’s so classic!

Care for some unstoppable dalandan juice?

It was Jo’s doing. He actually asked me if the juice [pointing to his glass] was “unstoppable”. I almost choked, I thought, he must be kidding, right? Oh, you have to understand… it’s something you can actually expect from him. I just said, you mean, refillable, right? Laughing. I dared him to order a refill using the description, “unstoppable”. And he did! We tried [but failed miserably] to control our laugh. Good thing the server was a good sport. Hahaha.

“What? You left for Australia again and you didn’t tell me?”

Said Joanne. Apparently she wasn’t informed that I had left the second time. Hahaha. They teased me like crazy on how “last minute” my goodbye was last January. They found out that I was leaving when I sent them an sms informing them that I was already in the airport. Candice called and she couldn’t believe it. I was all defensive about it since on my end, it was unexpected as well! I can’t help it if my booking fell through the last minute, can I?

“Who’s pregnant? What? You’re pregnant?”

Another one from Jo, he clearly had no clue that Mel was almost 6 months pregnant. I had to make room for him to see Mel’s growing tummy. So this brings me to the next one –

“The problem with you two is that perhaps the Group list you use to send messages, must just included both your names! How come the rest aren’t getting any of the messages you claim to have sent?”

That’s Candice teasing Mel and Ricky to having their own “group list”. Hahaha.

After lunch, we walked around a bit and I did a little shopping — I bought my cranberry lip balm and concealer with tea tree oil at The Body Shop — before we had our caffeine dosage at Starbucks and to continue our walk down memory lane.

“I’ve got ESPN!”

Candice gave me a blank stare probably thinking that I’ve gone nuts. I was laughing uncontrollably and I was like, are you there yet? Haven’t you seen Mean Girls? It’s a joke for crying out loud! Hahaha. The others were teasing her and she cussed like crazy when she got it, she kept telling me how she thought I lost my marbles. She said something like, “I almost lost my respect for you, Sash. ESPN when it should’ve just been ESP… I knew you’re better than making quips like that!” Okay, I guess I have to work on my dumb blonde act more.

And yea, I bombarded Joanne with direct questions about the current status of her lovelife, hitting the target, unknowingly — hence, the ESPN quip. It was hilarious!

We spent over 4 hours together and if only each of us didn’t have to make it to other appointments, we’d probably hang out a couple of hours more! I wish Donna and Ethylene were with us. I love these people.

My cousins and dear brother haven’t stopped teasing me about the news that my dear Damien Michael Owen is now out of the World Cup due to the knee injury he sustained in the England vs Sweden match, which ended in a draw by the way. Yea, the Brits still haven’t beaten the Swedes. Heh.

I’m so sad. F#@!%*g twisted knee. Bleh.

Anyway, these nitwits keep saying that Owen’s career’s over. Whaa–? At the young age of 27? No freaking way! A lot do they know. Heh. Well — that is if this injury isn’t as bad as it seems. I just want to cry. Sniff.

It was so sad to see him in the car driving away, probably off to fly back to England for an operation or something. Oh, it was on ESPN by the way so yea, it was just on telly. Sigh.

I keep seeing this puzzle in the newspaper. At first, I had no interest to solve it until last Friday when I was hanging out over at my cousin’s house, a little bored. I picked up the crossword puzzle and worked on it till I finished it [with the help of my cousins hehe]. I got fired up so I went on and tried the puzzle right next to it, which is a Sudoku.

Simple instruction for playing Sudoku,

“Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3×3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.”

The puzzle I was working on had a 4-star difficulty rating but I finished it in under an hour. Cool, eh? I’m a bit surprised myself. I didn’t think I had it in me.

Anyway, you can try it yourself. It’s available online. Have Fun!

A day is over with just sleeping. A week passes like a day. A year is gone in a blink of an eye. Yes. How swiftly time passes — never to return.

As a child, I thought summer is a long time. Now, a couple of decades later, I wake up to a morning with almost half of the year over. Crazy. I can’t seem to have enough time to do the things I want to do.

Makes me wonder if the speed of time is relative to age.

Have you ever felt that you’ve been living a dream? Not because you’re getting everything you’ve always wanted but because you feel like you running towards something that you can’t get to? Reaching out to capture a cloud in your hand?

I feel I’m running out of time.

If I let go of all the anger in me, I’m afraid to face what’s left. Who will I turn out to be? Thoughts like these never cease to plague me, which brings me to conclude that I may just not change.

A dear friend has seen and heard almost everything about me. She has seen the blackest side of me and the vulnerable side, too. I know how much she wishes I’d just drop whatever I’m holding on to so I can continue with the rest of my life but she knows how stubborn I am. I’m resolute to living through mistakes and face the meanest thing that life may bring my way head on. It seems stupid. I know.

Does that make me brave and strong? Admittedly, I think I’m just too scared to face disappointment so I’d rather have the lowest of expectations than the grandest of hopes. Call me stupid. Again.

It’s funny how I snap at the slightest sign of shady behaviour. I guess I’ve grown way too suspicious of people I know, old and new. Like I’m a good judge of character! Duh.

But I do wonder what lies beyond the anger. This moment clearly gives you a taste of the many times I’ve thought about the ‘what-ifs’ and the ’should-i’ questions. I’m still searching for a hint of the ‘what’s in it for me’ thingie that the surefooted me expects.

I’m thinking of giving it a try, trashing that expectation and just winging it. Will I land on both feet once I do decide to jump? Will I like who I’d become once I find myself there? It’s quite an obvious answer for most but hell, it’s easier if you’re not in my shoes; if you didn’t go through what I went through.

It’s difficult. I don’t know how I can understand, forgive and love someone whom I’ve loathed for a long time. How can I forget all the things that broke my heart and spirit? How can I unlearn the cold, hard truths of filial, platonic, and romantic relationships? How can I accept the role I have to play as I go on living life as a girl learning to be a woman?

I always feel I’m late for this life. My life.

My Lord,

I come to you kneeling in eternity. I bear gifts and symphonies. Let it be a sweet aroma that surrounds your throne. Please turn your eyes and look upon me. Please do not hide your face from me.

I came and experienced you on earth without question. I came to you in wonder and joy. I embraced your entire being and I had become a light to your darkness. I came in a time that required my presence. And I saw and experienced your delight. I had chosen to be found. The gods favored me for out of all the angels in the heavens and the mortals of the earth, they had chosen me for you as you were chosen for me.

Please do not be deceived with the lies that were fed to you. I have given you the truth and it lies within you. You had found yourself in me and guided me to find myself in you.

You had seen my wings and faltered. For this, you have my forgiveness. Now I seek your absolution and embrace me back into your world. I have faith that together we will be unconquerable.

I now walk in a land of hammered lightning that your leaving has banished me to. Hear my cry and take hold of my hand as i did yours before. Please condemn me not to this place.

I did not seek for your destruction. Instead, I had offered you my very existence to edify your life. Now, I am offering my wings. I shall give up my immortality for your life.

Know that I wish you no ill will. So if my going will prove to be more for your advantage, I shall go and keep silent. I merely write to present to you my plight, in the hope that against all the odds I am facing now, we can still be together.

Let my silence speak volumes.

My Lord, I want you to know that I truly understand the road that you have to take and the responsibilities you bear. Forcing you to be with me would eventually amount to a guilt that can transform you. I will lose the man I have come to love. Love? you may ask. What is love? I have only begun to understand what you have known all along. I now know you are right, in a way. I had seen the world through your eyes. A student, that I am. And I believe we will see each other again.

You are my knight… my lord… my king.

Let the wind that caresses your face remind you of my touch. Let the sun that bronzes your skin remind you of my very existence.

Kiarra

“Pride is a very common failing I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed, that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary.

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonimously. A person may be proud without being vain.

Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

– Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice

Boracay, Philippines

Boracay is considered the most popular beach in the Philippines. It got featured in Discovery Channel’s Lonely Planet. So, seeing a lot of tourists there wasn’t a big surprise. It’s not just the media that brings people there. It’s the reputation that the place has established for itself — the ultimate beach party place. So, word-of-mouth works just as effectively as any advert they’d come up with.

Like I said before, I wasn’t impressed. But I did appreciate the gorgeous powdery, white sand and the clear blue-green water. However, I was longing for the sun when I was there, but since it was raining during some portions of my stay, I didn’t get enough tanning time. It was during the month of December, so, yea… we were there during the Holidays. Anyway, I was able to catch a glorious afternoon and was able to watch the sunset. Woohoo. How romantic. Yech. Ahahahaha.

I did have fun. I wore my Roxy Bikinis, played frisbee, enjoyed Jonah’s shakes and built sandcastles that Demolition Cammy loved destroying. Teehee.

As much as I loved spending time with my family, I’d love to go back to Boracay but I prefer to be with friends so I can party. Hehehe.

Note: I still recommend Palawan.

“It’s funny how you stumble upon something that eventually becomes your life’s passion, huh?” She tilts her head.

It really is magical how some things are so common and seemingly irrelevant yet as you age and look back, you’d realize how the trivialities of life become the core of your being. It, sometimes, comes as a surprise on how you’d get to find out what you wanna do and what you’re really meant to do.

“…It’s funny how we’re all alive and living life.” He answers.

“Is it funny? there you are studying the theories and mysteries of life, soon you will be able to unlock it. in time, you will get to feel how it is to be ‘God’ somehow.” She spats back, good-naturedly.

Not everyone would stop and consider the greatness of creation nor would really study the science behind it all. But once a person does, it’ll be worth it. I can only imagine what things will be revealed to him or her. It’ll be a great honor to have that kind of knowledge.

“I guess I can say that I am in the process of finding myself. The practicality of life hinders me in leading the bohemian lifestyle that I somewhat long for.” She laughs.

We do long for the simple and easy life, don’t we? Well, it’s already a fact of life that it’ll never be easy. so what? it makes life far more interesting that way, right? The way you would think of and pray for all your dreams to come true before you go to bed at night; or the poignancy of a moment of success or failure; the emotions evoked by the mere walking on the streets of Manila or by the mere listening to conversations or music in a crowded club. Every simple thing that you’d often overlook would somehow crawl into your heart and remind you that you should find joy in the journey. And in every step you will find pieces of yourself until you become whole.

I’m here again, reminded of missed opportunities. But it’s part of life, huh? I’m looking forward to the fulfillment of a promise, though. The past will serve its purpose. A better me, perhaps? I can only hope. The past few days has been a time of recollection and prayer. I am hoping for the best and I will know the answer in a few days. All I have to do is wait, which is something really hard to do.

I added a page on my blog, 500 Books. This is to celebrate my love of books. Heh. I’m stating the obvious. Anyway, I just thought it’ll be pretty interesting if I’m able to share the kind of readings that occupy my mind.

I got the idea from Hsien but her list is more thorough. I’m actually impressed that she has a timeline! Of course, the number of books that she has read is pretty impressive, too. Hahaha. When I was looking through her list, I appreciated the opportunity that I was able to get to know Hsien in a way because I was trying to gauge her personality based on her taste in readings. I’m thinking that maybe I’d get you guys to understand me better through the list. Wishful thinking perhaps? I hope not.

Anyway, feel free to check it out. If you have comments and suggestions, do let me know! I’d appreciate your thoughts.

… from a toothache.

I gave in and went to the dentist last Saturday afternoon. Imagine, I had no sleep, literally, because I work online at night and by the time I’m scheduled to sleep, it was freaking hot! So I couldn’t sleep. Then add the toothache — that’s why I decided to go the dentist instead and end all the pain! Heh.

After that, someone annoyed the hell out of me before actually heading to the theatre to watch the movie I told you I was gonna watch. Bleh. The movie didn’t help much to uplift my sour mood.

Then for the past couple of days, I was sick. Because of the sore tooth and lack of sleep combined maybe.

I’m gonna stop whinging now.

A word of caution: If you don’t wish to feel offended or repulsed, I suggest that you move on to another entry in this blog or go read a different one. What comes after won’t be pleasant.

I have this ass of a relative that thinks he’s all that and more but in reality in the eyes of the people around him, he’s nothing but an arrogant piece of shit. He has this ego the size of Texas — uh, no — all the 50 states of the US combined or perhaps more and thinks he has the authority on every topic. Please. You don’t even know a quarter of what I know and I’m just almost half his age. Heh.

I utterly pissed about how he thinks he’s got the better of me. He doesn’t have the slightest clue about the situation. He has no right to dismiss me like that. Hello. It’s not about you, you egotistical bastard. It’s good that my grandfather’s dead so he’s not around to see or hear you. Why didn’t he inherit his father’s common sense and quiet humility? My grandfather wasn’t able to get a degree on anything since he barely finished highschool but when he spoke, he spoke with elegance and demeanor of somebody’s who’s highly educated. Totally not like him. What a pity.

That atrocious man that you defend is not worth a tenth of what I stand for.

Why do I even bother? Let me tell you why. They are the source of that man’s fuel. Condoning his actions allows him to believe that how he’s currently acting is right. So, this man continues to harrass me. I know that part of the reason why you condone him is because you can manipulate him so you can get something from him. Yea, he’s stupid that way.

Wake up, old man. You have no right to act so righteous. Look at yourself. There you are minding someone else’s business. I’m not trying to run your life for you. I’m not imposing my principles on you and yet here you are trying to enforce yours on me? WTF. Who are you anyway? Shut the fuck up.

My reasoning: If you continue to view me as a child then I will react to you as a child would. Why would a child act as the “better man” in the situation when you should be setting an example in the first place? Go ahead and tell me I’m stupid and immature. I don’t care. I’m done caring. A lot good that has gotten me.

Try doing that again and next time, I won’t hesitate to tell you to go to hell. I don’t care who you are.

It’s the movie, The Da Vinci Code.

They started showing it in theatres a couple of days ago and several people have already come up to me saying that they’re interested to see the movie. Heh. I can’t help but wonder why.

I wonder how many have indeed read the book? Ah, well. Anyway, my mom just informed me that it earned around PhP 11 Million on its first day of showing. Gah. People seem to have responded out of curiosity due to all the controversies surrounding its release in my country. Hahaha. I really wouldn’t be surprised. Filipinos are known to be highly curious about anything — even about things that doesn’t concern them.

Anyway, I’ve read the book and had found it wanting. Friends who’ve also read it, echoed my sentiments and referred Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons for a better read. Hmmm. Okay. I’ll probably give him another chance since I do enjoy reading. But honestly, I enjoyed the book, “The Rule of Four” more. That one has a similar feel to the Da Vinci book but it’s a lot more informative. What makes it better, I guess, is the actual existence of the book by Francesco Colonna, Hypnerotomachia Poliphili, which is the center of the story. They wrote that it was only in the year 2005 that the book was first published in the English language and after reading the book, I did see a copy being sold in a bookshop for a friggin PhP 1500! Ack. Crazy.

Via Matt’s blog, I discovered that they have a quaint webquest for it. Go try it. It’s easy. You can finish it in less than 10 minutes. Hahaha.

Oh, yea. If things work out, I am scheduled to see the said movie tonight. Bleh.

A man in search of a dream bourne from a moment’s pain that has been echoing in his mind and heart all this time. His hope that he will reach the end and piece back together the remnants of dashed hopes arising from his waking up to an illusion.

After years of isolation, he faced a reflection or perhaps an opposite of his personality. A mysterious power that draws him toward something that goes beyond his understanding and control. Used to his ways of maintaining control over circumstances to save him from hurt or pain. A man can never be too careful, especially someone who vowed to never bend his principles. An event that requires a blind leap brings a certain unexplainable terror that prevents him from following through. The idea of copping out is far easier and logically feasible rather than staying and letting the mystery unfold.

He arrogantly concluded that he found out all he needs to know. A sign of cowardice, perhaps. However, little did he know that he’s merely reacting to something that scared him. Fears that are fruits of his past, which seemingly has a great hold on him. Confronting something that he cannot control, he chooses to let go. Resorting back to his old ways.

Is this a product of three decades of living a life as a recluse? Believing that he has learned all he needs to survive but refusing to acknowledge that there are still things that he needed to know in order to live. Years that he had spent getting to where he is now is never enough to equip him to make a sound decision in continuing on to the next level. His pre-conceived notions about life, people, love or romance, should be thrown out the window and let his mind be open to exceptions.

Life never works the way we think it would. It will eternally surprise and amaze us. And that’s a good thing. Having lived in a shell or not, that doesn’t change this fact, that much I’ve learned. And no matter how much we try to control our destiny, it is only in death will we find the freedom and wisdom of it all.

“IDT, ta vie telle que tu la connais est finie. Et ne revierdra jamais.. sasha”

Bleh.

Before I even got back, my mom told me about this woman who was highly interested to meet me. She owns a modeling agency, you see. And with one of my mom’s trips to the salon, her hairdresser introduces them and I guess you can say the rest is history.

As soon as she picked me up at the airport, she asked me if I wanted to stop by the salon so I’d meet this person. My mom claims that this woman was so interested to take me on. I found it funny because she hasn’t even seen me in person! Heh. I just told my mom that I’ll take a raincheck since I was too tired.

Days turned into weeks until come Thursday of last week that my mom came home banging on my door at 6pm, waking me up. Uh, yea. I’m asleep during the day because I work on my blogs at night. Anyway, the woman was in my house that very moment! Ha. Great. She’s going to see me at my best. Fresh out of bed. I was grumpy and being my mean-y self, my mom got a taste of that grumpiness. Man — I just woke up! Heh.

If I could re-schedule it, I would’ve. But since, she was already sitting in my living room, there was no escape. Pffft. So, I washed my face, brushed my teeth and changed my PJs to something presentable. No make up. Ack. Ah, well —

She liked me straight away and scheduled a casting for a commercial the next day. She was even picking me up. Wow. That’s a first. The last agency that handled me couldn’t be bothered to call me for VTRs. They’d just send me an SMS and let me go off on my own. Hahaha.

So, yea — she’s now my new agent. Coolness. We proceeded to talk about potential projects abroad like New York, Singapore, and Australia! Woot! Modeling in Aussie will be awesome! We talked about getting fashion eds, ramp projects and her forte, commercials. Hmmm. Sounds good, eh? Well — don’t hold your breath. These things take a long time before it actually happens. It’s going to be a lot of work.

Sheesh.

The last time I had a modeling gig was when I did a bit role for a beer commercial like two years ago. And I thought this part of my life was over. I thought wrong. Bleh.

Oh, well. It’s always going to be interesting when it comes to this industry. You wouldn’t know — maybe I’d profit massively from it one day and travel, too. Hahaha.

Last Friday, I got free courtside tickets to a PBA game. I’m not the one with connections. I just want to be clear on that. It’s my new agent. She’s friends with a few of the players and she got the tickets specifically from Willie Miller of the Alaska Aces.

I had mixed emotions about going since the only team I’ve ever rooted for was Ginebra/Anejo waaaay back late 80s or 90s… I forget. But since I like adventures and new experiences, I decided — what the hell! Sure, why not, eh? So off I go to watch a basketball game. Well — I actually got to watch two games.

Alaska played Air 21 on the first game where they unfortunately lost. If only they played a lot more passionately and upped their pace and used DEFENSE instead of just acting like they were. And the 2nd game was a lot more exciting and highly resembles the basketball game I know. I was happy to find out that Ginebra was playing. But my heart plummeted when I found that I hardly knew any of the players. Pffft. I recognised the players of the other team, Talk N Text, more than the ones in Ginebra. But I still cheered for them anyway. Good thing cuz they won. Hehehe.

I didn’t expect that I’d enjoy watching the PBA again. I can probably attribute it to the fact that I knew some of the players that’s why I liked it. It’s funny because all these years that I’ve been following UAAP, players like Mike Cortez, Ren Ren Ritualo, Don Allado and Mac Mac Cardona, I know. Now that they’re in the PBA, it doesn’t feel like I’m watching random players but ones that I’ve seen mature in the game.

Does this mean that I’ll be following the PBA now? Uh, I can’t really say. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. Let’s just wait and see now, ok?

This blog got infected by the link leak virus!

I’m happily discovering how it’s springing leaks everywhere. Hahaha.

I got it from Liz ME Strauss over at Successful-Blog. I read up on what a link leak is and began scheming and planning how I’m going to infect others. Hmmm.

At first I thought I’d start my shout outs to other b5 bloggers but they’re just way too many. Heh. So, I thought I’d narrow it down to my four Channel Eds — Mother Hen, Grizzly, Resident Hardass and the Supreme Ruler of Dorks. Weird names, eh? Wait till you get a taste of them… they’re even stranger than their names. Hahaha.

Then I move on to listing some of my favourite b5 blogs: Homely Scientist, Six and Out, The After Mac, eBeautyDaily, and Her Accessories. Of course, it’s already a given that I do check the blogs where you can find me writing in: Tops 2 Bottoms, Light the Torch, Dating Dames, and 55 Fiction.

There are moments when I do venture out of the b5 world, which sometimes is hard since there are a lot of blogs I can spend hours in. Hahaha. I like my sister’s personal blog, Karen’s Snippets of Life, Liz’s Letting Me Be, Aaron’s Backstage Pass, Jayvee’s A Bugged Life, Mr. Actual Factual’s In Actual Fact, Ron’s Loosey Goosey, Armi’s Praning, Zoe’s Blowie Blewy among others. Some are friends, some are people I work with and some of the blogs, I just stumbled upon and got hooked.

I wish I have more time to read, though. Sniff. All I can do most of the time are check my email, blog, and do the required research. Bleh. It sucks even more that I have to put up with dial up. Pffft.

Love link ups. Love spreading link love more. More to come.

I think I need to let Martin know about this as instructed by Liz — uh, or should I? Ah, well.

I like playing cards. I’m pretty good compared to some but not good enough to go pro. And I’m no gambler. I just play for leisure, that’s all. I’ve learned a lot of card games over the years and the latest addition is Poker. I learned it by watching the Poker Games on telly the last couple of days.

One of the games was local and the other was the World Poker Championship in the US.

My cousin started teasing me that now I can join in their game, fondly called, Shuffle Shuffle Deal. Hahaha. My cousins love to gamble among themselves. One of the most popular games they play is Red Dog. Uh — don’t ask me how it works, it’s hard to explain through words. You have to learn it hands on unless you’ve already heard of the game then you know which one I’m referring to.

I heard that they’ve switched to Poker these days or the one I mentioned earlier. Well, I can’t really tell if I’m any good since I haven’t tried playing it so I haven’t had the chance to compare my skills. Hehehe. I’ll let you know how I’d do in case I do get to try it out.

Meanwhile, if you have tips I should know on how to play the game, do share. That is if you do want to share your secrets.

“Two things control men’s nature, instinct and experience.” — Blaise Pascal

What does it mean exactly? uh, well — I’d rather have you check it in the dictionary. Hehehe. Anyway, it popped into my head many nights ago. I reckon it was when I got off the bus stop and was walking back to my sister’s house. It reminded me of a guy that I once went out with a few times and — *surprise, surprise!* twas another classic case of naive thinking. Yea, stupid me. Bleh.

It makes me wonder, though. How come it does happen, these random *hopefully* situations that I find myself in, which points out a lack of clear communication that leads to confusion. It suddenly seems funny now.

There’s a possibility that this guy is reading these very words that I’ve written down and he realizes that it’s him I’m referring to. Well, that’d be cool in a way because this time, there wouldn’t be any failure in communicating on my part because I am able to write down my thoughts on the matter… granted that we all can be sure of proper comprehension on his part.

Anyway, moving on.

I ask myself this question a thousand times but it seems like I’m stumped. A perennial mockery, referring to men and directing the action to my intelligence. I’ve mentioned it before but I just wanted to say it again. Ugh. What utter frustration!

It’s also funny because I just read a blog entry of my good friend, Armi, over at 360. And I’m thinking, WTF — she clearly is having the same problems with men as I am! So, it’s beginning to look like it’s us girls getting stupid-er by the minute or perhaps there are a lot of clueless girls out there, who are fast becoming easy preys. [Update: she's really happy now. She found her needle. Hehehe.]

I know. I know. Learn from mistakes, right? It’s always easier said than done. *What a cliche!* The sad thing about all these is I worry that there’s not one decent guy out there.

Not too long ago, a guy I was seeing told me fervently that all guys are the same; that they simply want to get a girl to bed all the time or at least would go great lengths to get as far as they could, physically, I mean. It seemed that he was telling me, “Good luck in finding a needle in a haystack!” Clearly, he thinks he got his facts right. I reckon that there is a scarcity of good men. Surprisingly, I told him off, though. I wholeheartedly disagreed with what he said. I can still remember what I said that night, “I know that there is that one guy out there who would want to be with me just because he wants to be around me.” Basically saying that I’m not just some girl but the girl to him and he’d see me so he can get to know me, doing it for all the right reasons. Well, I knew then that the guy I was with wasn’t worthy of me. I will never be conquered by just some guy.

It may be arrogant of me to say. It’s only because I am proud of who I am and what I’ve done so far. I would greatly encourage all my friends to do the same. Pride of oneself is not something to be ashamed of. However, be sure not to mistake pride for conceit. I only say this because I’m speaking of what I can offer to the man I would choose to have my heart. This matter in life, I do not take lightly even if the rest of it can be mistaken that I do. This is who I am.

It’s a re-post with updates, by the way. I just wanted to share it again.

If I die tonight
It should be said
How at my life’s end
I have left everything amiss
I lied
I disobeyed
I disrespected
How unfair that I’ve seen
A life so bleak
So gray
So plain
How much I hate where I stand
Wish myself dead
Unloved
Unappreciated
Now –
Condemned
My heart feels no love
From the alleged creator
For if the only source of understanding
On what love really is
My family
My father
My friends
My church
The person I love
If that’s love
I’m not loved at all
All that I have believed in are lies
There’s no truth in my life
Nor love
Thus, I die.

18112000

I’m noticing that I’ve been packing and un-packing suitcases with increased frequency. I can’t seem to sit still in one place, eh? Call it a classic case of wanderlust. Hehehe.

The weekend was a mixture of good and bad things but I’m still thankful for the opportunity to go on an “outing”. It gives me fresh perspectives on life in general and I need a decent amount of sleep so I can carefully re-trace my steps so I can dissect the lapsed time and begin writing them all down. I’m sure I’m bound to make full use of the experience.

My mind’s actually tired to process everything that transpired. I reckon it’ll kick in a couple of days. I’m actually having a hard time concentrating on my work online right now, which explains my presence here in my personal blog.

I personally believe that if I start writing down my thoughts here, it’ll help jumpstart my ideas for my other blogs. However, there’s a slight setback. I’m getting really tired so my mind’s all clutter-y. Bleh.

Anyway, I reckon it’s best if I get some sleep first then start working tomorrow.

Alright. So, I’m not heading to the beach this weekend. Well, at least, for now. But I am going off to one of my country’s provinces that I haven’t been to. I think. Ahehe. As far as I know we’re heading to Quezon Province, at a town called Lukban. Or is it a city? Ah, whatever.

Hmmm. I’ve heard of it before but, like I said, I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing it. Hehehe. That is saying a lot since I’ve been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to explore the many islands of my country.

I’m leaving in 3 hours. Hahaha. I’ll be gone a good 3 days.

I just realised that I’ve been back a week and I haven’t been to any malls yet. Teeheehee. You have to understand the importance of malls in that statement. People here are pretty attached to the whole concept of malls. Heh. But yes. I haven’t visited a mall since I got back. And now, I’m off to the boondocks. Good, eh?

I’ll be attending a YA Camp, courtesy of my little brother, Arnold. That’s why I’ll be my angel self for his sake. Hehehe. Anyway, my good friend, Raissa, will be there and a few other friends whom I haven’t really gotten the chance to see for quite a bit now. It’ll be a good chance to catch up on things.

Objectives for this weekend:
1. Replenish my tired soul. I plan to discard some memories. Heh.
2. Mingle with friends, old and new. Activating my charm. Ha.
3. Have a discussion with God so I can make decisions. Hehehe.
4. Take photos! Yay!
5. Paaaarrrtty! I can’t? Ah, well —

It’ll be nice to do something new for a change. I’ll see you guys in a few days!

The emptiness seems to fill me
The sadness seems to make me happy
The loneliness seems to comfort me
The irony of life seems to work for me

Is God empty?
Instead, He is the meaning
Does God bring sadness?
Instead, He brings happiness
If God is there, am I ever lonely?
He is omnipresent

God has brought me this far in life.
It may not always be happy
But He’s always there to comfort me.
He is life. Despite the irony.

08.11.2000

1. Be brutally honest
2. Never let up
3. Put icing on the cake

Add a generous amount of Snarkasm to make things a lot spicier. Hehehe.

Some people can’t take the heat especially if you try to tell them how they come off to you. Hey — I know how utterly irritating I can get especially when I’m in one of my moods, but I know I’m always open for a bit of critique every now and then. It just has to come from someone whom I know I have dealings with.

The reason why I write this — I know I pissed off someone. I’m starting to feel the guilt and remorse because of that.

But then again, why should I be?

I have every right to form an opinion especially on how I get treated, right? I’ve decided that this thing has gone far enough and I refuse to move any further until this person treats me with respect. I did offer an explanation but was refused a conversation. Bloody hell. I reckon if this person wants to set things straight, the least he could’ve done was listen, right?

I’m still open for us to talk but if this person declines, him and I both can live our lives as if the other didn’t exist. I’m sure it’s not going to be a problem for either parties. Ha.

Gah. I really need a cigarette. I’m way too pissed off to concentrate. Bleh.

I arrived around 1 pm [GMT +8] at the Manila International Airport last Saturday. So, yea.. I’ve been around for a good couple of days at least.

I’m still tired since I went by without sleep for the 27-hour travel. I’m dead tired but I’m slowly getting back on track.

I’m having a slight difficulty adjusting to working online, though. I don’t know if I can attribute it to jet lag or something else. I’m having a hard time writing! Grrrr.

I can’t seem to bring myself to concentrate. I’m too restless and sleepy most of the time and my mind’s utterly pre-occupied with other thoughts that I don’t have no room for any fodder for my blogs. Alright. I guess I lack inspiration.

I’ll give myself like a few more days to recuperate. I’m slowly setting up the PC to my liking anyway. Hey — it is just my second day to use it anyway.

Yes. I am rooting for the Socceroos!

Go Kewell!

Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
Oi! Oi! Oi!

Get your own banner at Hrmpf.com.

What do you do when you’re stuck in an airport for hours on end waiting for your next flight out?

Simple. You wait. Ha.

Sleep? I wish I could.. I’m so tired.

Shopping? Need you ask if I want that?

Read a book? I have, like, 4 books to keep me company.

Listen to your portable music? I’m optimising my mp3’s battery life.

Ah, yes. Free internet. That’s why I got to write this amusing nonsense. Uh — it amused me for a bit anyway.

8 more hours to go.. Aaarrrggh. I’m bored.

I’ll just go find some people to watch and create stories in my head to pass time.

If everything seems under control,
you’re not going fast enough. — Mario Andretti

With what’s been happening in my life right now and how I normally handle things, this quote certainly nudged me to consciousness and made me think about the pace I should have in terms of living this life.

I’m totally OC about certain things. I like lists, order, rules [ah, well -- sometimes.. ], and routines. Yes. I am somewhat organised. I always find myself establishing a routine.

For example, let me tell you about the routine I’ve somehow established for a typical day:

• Wake up
• Morning toiletries [not too graphic, eh?]
• Turn on the PC
• Make tea while I wait for the PC to boot
• Yosi break [cigarettes. heh.]
• Open Outlook and 3 Mozilla browsers [Yay for broadband!]
• 1st Browser: Open tabs for Gmail, The Parody, Tops 2 Bottoms, Light the Torch, and Dating Dames
• 2nd Browser: Open tabs for 55 Fiction, b5media, and all 4 b5 blogs stats
• 3rd Browser: Open tabs for variable sites, i.e. b5 forum, Wikipedia, LTT related sites, etc.
• Work for approximately 5-6 hours online with occasional food and drinks thrown in between.
• Have dinner [I'll miss my sister's roast dinners...]
• Late night cigarette sessions out the front [I'll miss this, too...]
• Quiet time
• Sleep

No. I’m not kidding. :p

Well, okay.. there’s that occasional interruption or variation but generally that’s how my days have been like, though, winds of change will blow me toward a different direction soon.

Anyway, I’d like to have that feeling of control over things. If or when there’s something that I don’t know, I’d try my best to learn it. Self-sufficient? Dunno. Just one of my eccentricities, I guess.

If I am to gauge the current pace, I’d say I’m definitely not slacking. I really can’t quantify the stuff that has gone haywire. Things aren’t under control — most definitely. It’s all good though. I’m not really in a hurry now, am I? I’m just treading the path c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y and continue believing that good things come to those who wait. I’ll weather the storm.

Gah. I was reminded of a goal I have for this blog when I was tinkering with it earlier.

I guess I have my work cut out for me then.

Enough said.

I’m leaving in a couple of days and my thoughts are getting mushy. First, due to all the weird and painful things that my body parts seem to have decided to subject themselves to. Second, one major bad news just came my way. Third, a certain insect has triggered animosity in me and I’m seething just thinking about bumping into him in the virtual world. I just want to beat the sucker into a pulp. The idiotic twat. Pffft. And lastly, I happen to change my sleeping habits in blink of an eye. Ah, well — it’s gonna go wonky anyway with the loooong travel ahead of me. Yes, people. It’s twenty-freaking-seven hours! Not to mention that I am to spend 16 hours of it in an airport. Alone. Aaarrrrggggh.

Anyway, the point for the post is not forgotten. Ha.

There will be men who will annoy the hell out of me and situations that will irritate me but being with this boy can make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside thus over-shadows the other men. He has the power to make me forget that sometimes I do find him annoying and irritating, too. Hahahaha.

I absolutely adore this photo of ours. I was able to capture Cammy’s “gigil” look, which makes me happy because it means I did something to make him react that way. And it’s great that there’s a football in the photo, too. I really love how the photo turned out. We were at a barbeque held in a park in Kensington and of course, Cam went straight to the playground and I had to come after him to supervise. Hahaha. I like taking photos so I took some. Hahaha. You should see the vain-y photo I took of myself. Uh, no — I’m not gonna post it here. Go check my flickr if you’re really interested. Heh.

If I can collect all the photos we have together, I know it has grown a number. Oh, God.. I think I’m gonna tear up. It might be a while before I see him again so it’s just gonna be photos for me. Sniff. I really am gonna miss this boy. I love this boy to bits. My favourite boy in the world.

Bad toe.

Bad news.

Major toothache.

Crappy earphones for my mp3 player.

Pffft. There will always be days like this when things refuse to go your way.

But what really sucked the most is the toothache. It’s just a clear reminder to never overlook a dentist appointment. Bleh. But I really don’t want a root-canal! Oh, the pain!

I realised, though, that I can handle any form of pain but a toothache. It’s merciless. It’s excruciating torture. It’s the kind of pain that’s not inflicted by a third party nor is it self-inflicted. It’s involuntary. But you do have yourself to blame because of careless dental hygiene. Yech.

Nah. I blame the chocolates and coke. Ha.

It’s just not my day. Not my day at all.

I just had to write it out.

I’m utterly depressed. Why is it difficult to get want you really want? Pain is a given. If only tears would come and ease some of the hurt away. Or perhaps I can scream and let out pent up frustrations.

I’m angry. Disappointed. Frustrated.

To make matters worse, this came at a stressful time. I’m boarding the plane heading to Singapore on Friday. I’ll be travelling for a good 27 hours. Alone. It sucks that I have this to think about.

Good thing I got new music. Them Anberlin boys aren’t as bad as I thought.

Gah. I need a cigarette.

Port Noarlunga, South Australia, Australia

One of the most beautiful beaches I’ve seen is this one in Port Noarlunga. On my first visit to Australia, I only got to see this place once but this year, I got to see it twice. It was only that last time did I get to have my photo taken. I want to keep track of all the beaches I’ve been to because I want to document them like this.

I can recall the first time I saw this place, it was windy and a little cold even if it was spring then. They tell me that it’s a great place for body boarding and even, surfing. I haven’t tried either because one, I don’t know how and two, I was chicken shit to wet my toes in the certainly cold surf. I’m sure it’s cold because it’s already cold even when I’m not in it. Ha. It’s a tad bit disappointing though since I am so intrested to give these sports a go. I guess I was just waiting for the “perfect” weather. I know.. excuses. Excuses. Hehehe.

The next visit were just for some strawberry milkshakes at Agatha’s Foodstore and the last one was supposedly for my sister’s birthday lunch at a much recommended Thai resto that offers a great view of the beach and jetty. It didn’t happen. They were only open for dinner, which happened to be like 5 hours away and we were too hungry to even consider waiting. Pffft. Rotten luck. So, yea.. we opted for the nearest Macker’s lunch we can get. Hahaha. But before that I grabbed the opportunity for my beach photo op. Hehehe.

It’s currently ranked at number 2 on my Best Aussie Beach list. It’s only ranked 2nd because I didn’t really get the beach experience I was hoping for but it still is one of the loveliest beaches I’ve ever been to in Australia.

“What makes man a man? A friend of mine once wondered. Is it his origins? The way he comes to life? I don’t think so. It’s the choices he make. Not how he starts things but how he decides to end them.”

At the end of light then comes darkness. A few dwell in it and fewer ponders on its very existence. As a man, we see life filled with colors and shrug off the hues that we consider bland. We often think that the people live in such manner are the snobs but most of the time, it is the ones who live in the dark who looks down on others. People who embrace it remove themselves from the crowd and and silently pity us who are not enlightened.

I am considered one of the common people. A mongrel. I am no magi. Yes, I don’t understand it. I have bits and pieces of the knowledge but I guess I am not fit to live it. Perhaps I choose not to accept it. Ancient thoughts equals great power. I just don’t understand it.

However, this is what I say… I know you exist. I fell victim to the machinations of your ways. Is it humane? Is it to edify mortality? Wanting something outside this weak being, it’s understandable. Seeking paths to immortality has been around since the beginning of everything. It has been the ultimate temptation for man’s fall.

One life. I will not be able to live this one again. This what makes everything beautiful. The knowledge of an inevitable end. The capacity to make mistakes. To be able to feel every emotion known to man alone.

It is sad that you don’t seem to feel the same way about it.

You know what? I really don’t care anymore. Heh.

Sophia sits quietly on the curb, smoking a cigarette. It was middle of the night and the somewhat full moon lights up the already star-filled sky. She was alone on the street where her house stood, drinking in the solace that that moment offered her. Perhaps she is not alone, her thoughts accompany her. Memories and dreams filled her mind. She thought of spending the remaining days of her life just counting the stars. It is her time to waste anyway. But will it really be such a waste? Stars and the moon hold a certain magic in them, she thought to herself. After all, people who lived and died before her time had relied their destiny to the stars.

Sophia is nearing her end of life’s road. She just came from the hospital that afternoon where she learned of her fate. She is to die of leukemia. What is the big deal about death anyway? Everyone is heading that direction, too. Though, she knew she just got ahead of the line that’s all. She ponders on how she had lived her life. She thought of how many moons she had seen, how many places she has been to, and how many people she has come across. This is what they say that happens at the end of your life, seeing your life flash before your eyes, seeing that you have realized all your dreams… no more regrets. However, it has been said that it happens in a blur and in the moment right before you die. But in her case, it started when the doctor told her that she’s dying.

Sophia feels physically weak but strong enough to face what lies ahead. Seemingly like a torture but claims that this is what makes life beautiful. The words, Carpi Diem finally sinks in. It’s like the curtain has been lifted from her eyes and she is beginning to see a different world.

Now, she understands why she was made to be this way. She endured a lot of pain and drowned in the currents of love in the manner that life had packaged it. She is who she is because this is her destiny.

“And man has only one destiny, right?” Sophia asked the sky.

She then stood up and extended her arms up to the midnight sky then closed her eyes.

Sophia smiled as a thought dawned on her, “It is only now that I’m learning to breathe…”

Tides rise in greeting. Eerie thoughts are conjured. It’s when silver lights are seen in the darkness; there are shadows in the night.

I love it when there’s a full moon like tonight. At least, I’d have it as a companion in my nightly cigarette sessions out on the front. Apart from the stars, the moon will cast a glow on earth, still dark but not totally. I love it. It brings mystery and gloom. It’s like a bad memory that haunts you but leaves you with a sense of awe. Weird, I know.

It’s just sun’s light bouncing off on a rock’s surface. What is so special about that, you might think. It’s the fact that it can and it has for millions of years. It’s been around to witness many great horrors and triumphs of this world. If you sit in silence, perhaps it will whisper its wisdom and let you touch the diamond studded, black velvet we call the night sky.

There is magic in everything. It’s a matter of how you see them, that’s all.

Beaches are my haven.

I can say that it’s a source of relaxation for me. I didn’t use to love the beach because it would mean my skin’s going to grow darker but when I reached my late teens, I found myself falling and falling and falling… Ack. This is becoming too tacky for my taste. Bleh.

Anyway, I just wanted to re-hash all my beach adventures. I wrote something about Boracay, a popular resort island in the Visayas Region of my country, Philippines, a few months back when I went there during the holidays.

Last year alone, I had travelled to a lot of beaches in the Philippines and in Australia. It’s been a fabulous experience. Now, like I said, I’m going to trace my steps back to most, if not all, of the beaches I’ve been to.

First up… Palawan, Philippines.

If I try to count all the islands I’ve seen so far out of the 1700 islands that my country has, I reckon I’ve only covered like around 8% of it. Heh. But that’s not bad considering the number, right? Hehehe.

February 2005.

I went with my family, which consisted of my mom, my younger brother, Arnold, my older brother, Aaron and his wife, Sally. And how can I forget my baby, Mr. Angelo? I miss my teddy. Sniff. Anyway, it was actually a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing because what happened was my older brother was just telling my mom about their plans to celebrate his wife’s birthday on the beach and he was sort of asking me about the beaches I’ve been to [I think..] when I chided my mom that we should come with them. Surprisingly, the couple agreed and said we should all go to Boracay. My mom said yes so, I went to my brother’s house to do some research and made some phone calls to make the arrangements. But I found out that it was way too last minute to go to Boracay but I did find a pretty decent deal for Palawan. I told them about the option and we decided to give it a go. It’s exciting because neither one of us has ever been to Palawan.

I then called my dear friend, Kanch, who lives in Palawan, to let her know that we’re coming over the next day. Boy, was she surprised. She helped me find a good place where we can stay and basically helped us make further arrangements about our trip, like where we can go and see and stuff, which was really wonderful of her. We paid for the plane tickets that night and left early next day.

It was island hopping [Luli Island --the disappearing island, Snake Island, and a few more others], the city tour of the capital, Puerto Princesa [flea markets, Vietnamese Village, and some other place which I simply can't remember], Dos Palmas Resort [where I just lounged under the sun while they went snorkling and kayaking. Hehehe], Sabang Beach [the best beach ever! The two-hour landtrip over rough terrain was well-worth it!] and yes — the famous Underground River, the longest in the world.

You can see more photos of this trip here.

June 2005.

I went back to Palawan to attend my friend Kanch’s wedding and spend some time with my girlfriends, Raissa, Victoria, and Happy.

It’s our very first time to go on an out-of-town trip together after a number of tries. Hahaha. It was a fantastic time being with them. The wedding was gorgeous. I can’t forget the cake! All my friends were part of the entourage. Well — I would’ve been too but the Aussie plans got in the way and Kanch didn’t want to risk having a no-show for a bridesmaid. But since I was still around, I decided to go anyway. I really didn’t want to miss it in the first place! She was the first in the group to get married.

It was only after the wedding did we start our real vacation. We initially planned to go to El Nido but some uncontrollable circumstance hindered that from materialising. Pffft. We instead went on the same island-hopping adventure that I did the first time I went to Palawan. We decided that we were going to spend the night on one of the islands.. Starfish Island. I did see a beautiful blue starfish. It was awesome! Loved the sun, sand and sea with a dash of Vodka. Hahaha. It was the trip that launched me as an amateur photographer. I fell in love with the camera and photography. We’re still together and going strong. Teeheehee.

You can see more photos of the wedding here.

And of course, the rest of the photos, here.

By far, Palawan is ranked number one on my list.

Remember the new blog that I told you about a few days back? Uh, well — it’s been launched. Yay! Isn’t it exciting?

It’s called 55 Fiction. [Blurb: Fragments of imagination captured in 55 words.]

I’m blogging together with 6 other b5 bloggers:

• Squib who writes at the NFL Blog, Squib Kick and also contributed in Light the Torch during the Winter Olympics at Torino,

• Maruthi from Diabetes Notes,

• Cory Aldrich from Baldiness, House is Right, and Supernanny Rules,

• Alan Hylands from The Footie,

• Maricar from Keeping the Castle and is a contributor to The 80s Club, and

• Ingrid Diaz, our Video Games Channel Editor, she writes in Play-Girlz, Top Model Gossip, Kapped, Grey’s Anatomy News, The 80s Club and Ladies Court.

What exactly is 55 Fiction, you may ask. Well, the title is a key to what the blog is all about. It’s short literary works, purely fiction, that’s confined to 55 words. There are set rules for it if you want to know how it is done.

Even though that there are many of us blogging in it, we are leaving one day open for Guest Entries. We are encouraging people to come over and contribute at 55 Fiction. This happens every Friday. So feel free to submit a story.

Here’s a look to what I’ve done so far.

Anyway, it’s great fun and I look forward to seeing you there.

I’m racking my brain for things I want to do in life. What is my greatest passion? Honestly, I find myself stumped.

What do I normally do nowadays?

I’ve been blogging — a lot is an understatement. Teehee. I like fiddling with photoshop. And I’m such an OC about images that I use in some of my blogs. I love coming up with designs for clothes and gowns. I still have to get around to learning how to used a goddamn sewing machine! I’m finding that I love to take photographs, ones that have people in it. It’s great that I’ve had tons of opportunities to practice and learn but I still find that it’s not enough. I like writing, creating concepts, stories and analyzing theories. I love listening to music and watching music videos. I love watching films and documentaries. I love reading books because I learn a lot. I love traveling because I get to see and experience what’s out there.

Whenever I try to think of what I really want to do in life, I find myself wishing that I’d get to do something that I really love without worrying about the practicality of everything else. In the end, I always suffer a migraine from all the thinking. Bleh.

“It’s alright to think of what you want to do until you have to do what you’re meant to do.” Which is it anyway? What is it that I have to do and what is it that I’m meant to do? Uh — what is it that I want to do anyway? Pffft. I want to do a lot of things but there’s that nagging voice in my head that tells me that I have to be responsible and I have to grow up.

What does it really mean to be “grown up” anyway? What if all I wanted was the simple life? Does it mean I’m refusing to grow up? Though I tend to doubt that bit since I reckon I can never be content with just living that kind of life. I’m too curious. Too adventurous. But I’m too much of a coward to actually risk everything. Sheesh. I’m scared of the uncertain and I like the idea that I can control things. It’s crazy how I often contradict myself. Heh.

Do I really have to have the kind of job that the society approves of? Should I really be earning a five or six-digit salary? of course, it seems improbable, though it can happen. I’m just frustrated I can’t find the kind of work i really want to do. Not unless, I can really live on what I can earn as a problogger. Hmmm. Well, that’s unconventional. If I do decide to do this full-time, it’s a huge risk — financially, mostly. Hahaha.

We have to admit that we juggle a lot of things in life and somehow get lost in it. We fail to see what it really has to offer and what we can offer back. I’m talking about life. Our minds are occupied with current events, gossips, love and relationships, family, friends, and work. Is it worth it?

I do envy the people who seem to have made sense of their own life. They have found their way in realizing their dream. They’re finding fulfillment in the work that they have and ultimately, are happy. It makes me wonder how they handled that stage in their life when they were still lost and foolish like I am. Or is there a “Living Life for Dummies” book that I can use?

In one conversation I had with someone, he had quoted, in passing, a phrase that Steve Jobs had said in a speech he made in a certain university. And something clicked in my brain. I brooded and pondered and googled it. Here’s what I found in brief:

First
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

Second
As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

Third
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

And with that I find that in life, you somehow need to“stay hungry and stay foolish” because I believe that that state of mind will eventually bring you where you’re meant to be and along the way, discover who you’re meant to be.

Uh — that’s what I hope for, at least.

my cries are muted by the role i must play.
my longings are subdued by the shame of wanting.
grey days stretch as far as time wills it.
barefooted, i walk, falteringly, reaching out.
dark skies beckon my suppressed anger.
drops of rain mask the tears.
thunder drowns out the cries from my lips.
see the blood on my hands that no amount of washing can ever remove.
the gods have turned their faces away.
refusing to acknowledge my plea.
a mere glimpse of the sun is all i ask, in this lifetime or the next.
in exchange, i offer a life lived in solitude.
alone but grateful for having lived.

Day 4

It’s my last day! My bus leaves at 9:30 p.m., boarding at the same place, bus station at Franklin Street, Melbourne. You’d think I’d just hang around and wait till I get on the bus, eh? Wrong. Wait till you hear what I did before I left. Teeheehee.

I was still sick but I was adamant that I will take advantage of this time that I have left in Melbourne. I told my friend that I want to do a little shopping if I could, well, I’m hoping I could do a little window shopping, at least. Hahaha. So, we hopped in his car and took of to our first stop for the day.

St. Kilda

I immediately fell in love with the place. I know we drove through it a couple of times a few days earlier and I loved it then but to actually walk around and take in the atmosphere — it was wonderful. I love the cafes, restos and boutiques.

I absolutely luurrvveed this boutique [I wish I could remember the name!] where they sell amazing and expensive clothes! The pinstriped wool walking shorts I saw was priced AUD$89, dammit! Browsing through vintage shops and seeing that they’re selling a polo barong with Philippine flag embroidered on the sleeve at AUD$75 was freaking hilarious! Anyway, I resolved that if I do go back to Melbourne to do some serious shopping, St. Kilda is on top of my list of places to go to. Teeheehee.

This area seems like it has a world of its own. It reminds me of Alabang in some ways only way better, of course. Not that Alabang isn’t gorgeous because it is! St. Kilda has that same laid-back atmosphere probably because it’s so close to St. Kilda beach — uh, it wasn’t named that way for nothing. Hahaha. If you look at the photo closely, you can see the green sign behind me on the post, the one that has that smiley face on it, it says: “1 smiles per hour here” Hehehe.

Anyway, another bit of trivia about the place, it’s a well-known spot for people who want to be seen as told by my friend. It’s normal for you to see celebrities walking about or hanging out at cafes. Well, not that I can recognize them. I have no clue who they are! So, it doesn’t really matter much, eh? Hahaha.

All the trams in Melbourne remind me of San Francisco. Uh, not that I’ve ever been to San Francisco.. I’m just comparing it to what I’ve seen on photos and films about the place. But hey — San Francisco’s known for its trams, right? Okay. Apart from the Golden Gate bridge.. Pffft.

Okay, with the tram out of the way, he wants to take another photo with all the palm trees behind me. It turned out alright but it looks too Beverly Hills for me, if you know what I mean. Heh. Anyway, we just walked around, tried to go to the beach and ogled at the weird clown face for an entrance of an amusement park that had a wooden rollercoaster. That’s it. Enough sightseeing. Now for some serious shopping. Hehehe.

Bridge Road

For all those familiar to where Bridge Road is in Melbourne, they already know what I’m about to tell you before I even say it. How to describe it? One word — Shopping! Hahaha. It’s a long stretch of road with shops and boutiques lined up on both sides of the street. You can see popular labels like Esprit and Portmans together with some unknown but equally wonderful stores. Yea, it’s number two on my list. Teeheehee.

Arrggh. I just thought of the top that I saw, which I really wanted but someone beat me to it. Grrr. Well, I’m happy to have found the hat that I’ve always wanted to buy. [Look-y me in the photo!]

Downtown

I had my lunch of chicken-something at this quaint Chinese resto in downtown Melbourne that served Japanese Pancakes. I reckon it’s just crepe. Heh. It was good though. I had the Peach.

I browsed through a couple of more boutiques. One, I reckon sells Korean clothes, which were really funky. And the other was hardcore Japanese fashion, man! I totally loved it! Hahaha. I recall urging my friend to really consider switching to Japanese fashion, men’s style. Hehehe.

Oh, yea. I walked around in a small part of Chinatown before heading back to the car. Ducked in the nearest 7-eleven to replenish on cigarettes. Hehehe.

On the Streets

I’m always in the car driving off somewhere when I was in Melbourne. I can say I saw a lot of the city through the windows or windshield of the car. Hehehe. It’s all good though because it’s the company that I really enjoyed. Even when I had to endure Jay’s horrid driving skills! Ha! Just kidding. You’re alright for an Aussie driver. Even if I reckon you need to get your car checked for brake malfunction or perhaps it’s not the car’s fault. Teehee. Nah. You’ll be able to hack it , driving in Manila, uh, well — with a wee bit more of practice, of course. Hahahahaa!

It’s cool how I get to really know some of the weird road rules they have here in Australia — like the right turn from the left lane at a junction. Unthinkable! Heh. Or do they just have it there in Melbourne? Because I haven’t seen anyone do it here in Adelaide.

Shrine of Remembrance

When my friend asked me what I wanted to see or where I wanted to go before I leave, I just told him to take me to a place that he or anyone for that matter would consider a must-see if you’re ever in Melbourne. He then took me to this place, Shrine of Remembrance.

At first I thought, what’s so special about this place? Then like a drop of water trickling down your back, I get it. And yea, it was a special place. It reminded me of the Lincoln Memorial or some building in Washington D.C. — Arrggh. What do I know? Well, just that one place in my head that I know I saw somewhere and I know it’s in the U.S. Bleh. — basically because of the pillars and the steps.

I was staring at the building and the steps before I actually realised what was behind me. An amazing view of the city and the length of the street that seems to go on and on and on. Wow. I knew right there and then that I’m going to try to capture it. So, I went and sat down on the steps and asked my friend to do it for me. Hehehe. Hey! I wanted to be in the photo, too!

After I’ve gotten it out of my system, I walked up the steps so I can admire the building up close and admire it, I did. Walked around the perimeter and took in all the views of skylines and gardens that the Shrine offered. It’s amazing just thinking about it and looking at the photos again.

Shameless how I took photos after photos. Heh. Well, I am a tourist after all! There’s no shame in that, right? That’s what tourists do when they visit some foreign place. Hehehe. My friend was a good sport when I boss him around especially when it comes to how I want him to a certain photo. I am bossy, eh? Hahaha. I can’t help it if I know what I want. Hehe.

Anyway, a couple of people there looked at me as if I’m tacky or something. Uh, because I’m having my photo taken? Duh. Like it doesn’t really happen in a tourist-y place like that one! Bleh. Never mind that. It’s funny anyway.

I am vain this way. I love taking photos. I love having my photo taken. I love travelling. If you put them all together, you can come up with either me taking a photo of myself in a place I’m visiting or making someone else take my photo in a place that I’m visiting. Hahaha. Oh, well — I know that’s tacky. Hahaha.

I love the place even if I wasn’t able to explore the entire thing. I love the grounds. I love the torch and the tower. Uh — The torch that’s on the pavement at the foot of the tower and not on top of it. Uh, don’t ask me why. I don’t know. Heh. But I like it anyway.

If you must know, the Shrine of Remembrance commemorates the lives lost in the wars where Australia was part of. They are thanked and remembered by the rest of the Australian people through this place. I really find it cool. Imagine, if you are one of the family members of the person who served the country, when you go to this place, you’ll always know it’s to honour him or her. I love the idea.

So, yea. It’s a place that tugs the heart. Well, at least it tugged mine anyway. Especially this soldier I met… Oooh. I’ve always wanted to get me a soldier. I feel soooo feminine. Heh. Hahaha.

Oh, well. Just said good-bye to the place and I headed back to the city after that. My friend’s going to drop me off at Franklin Street to wait for my bus and get on the 10-hour trip back to Adelaide. Pffft. I bought nourishments of chocolates and water from a nearby 7-eleven [I told you, they were everywhere! Hahaha.] then killed time at an internet cafe before getting on the bus to commence the loooong trip. Heh.

Good-bye, Melbourne!

Day 5
6:00 a.m.

11 degrees, still sick, groggy and sooo tired for being cramped in my seat and hardly had any sleep. I was supposed to take the bus home but I opted for a cab instead. I plan to hit the sack as soon as I get home and sleep on the bed for hours and hours and hours. I can’t wait!

Thoughts about the trip? I love Melbourne but I love Adelaide’s quiet and relaxed atmosphere more. I’ll definitely go back if I get the opportunity but if I am to choose between the two on where I want to live, I’d choose Adelaide. But I’ll make sure I’d save enough money so I can go to Melbourne for shopping. Hehehe.

Thanks a million, Jay, for a wonderful trip! I loved every bit of it! And oh, yea.. I lost my lighter again. No. I know you didn’t take it this time unlike the last time when you took my black lighter. Ha.

Note: If you want a larger view of all the photos, just click on them and it’ll take you to my flickr account.

Humor Me.
The Trip: Day 0-1
The Trip: Day 2-3

We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course.

This is why dreams can be such dangerous things; they smolder on like a fire does, and sometimes consume us completely.

Grief is a most peculiar thing; we’re so helpless in the face of it. It’s like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it.

Adversity is like a strong wind. I don’t mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.

I just finished reading the book, Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I’m amazed by what it gave me. Passages from the book just keep jumping out and creating a huge impression on me. These 4 quotes are just a few of what I’ve written down some have an even more personal effect on me, which I feel is much too vulnerable to share. It’s been said that it’s a flirting 101 book, Japanese-style, however, I don’t see it that way. Sure, you can pick up a trick or two but I see the book differently. It’s rich with dreams, passion, patience and love. It’s difficult to admit but it made me tear up bigtime. It was because of what the novel represents and it really touched a raw nerve. I wouldn’t be surprised if I decide to read it again. Hahaha.

She can feel the steam coming out of her skin. She was trapped in a boxed space to face her demons. With clenched fists, she prepares herself for a blow. Trickles of perspiration run down her back. She quickly wipes off beads of sweat from her brow. She knew she shouldn’t miss. She takes a swing at him. Her fist lands on something solid. It hurt but it felt good, too. It released pent up anger, which she had kept hidden from him. She shifts her weight alternately from left to right as she delivered straight punches, which she then ended with an upper cut. She was at this for more than 20 minutes now. She meant to put him down for good.

“I’m not stupid. A little naive but not stupid.” She screamed silently. “Go to hell, you bastard!”

There were occasional “asshole-s” and “jerk-s” thrown in between punches the entire time. Then she throws a final jab. She stops and lowers her arms, breathing heavily. You can still see the tension in her shoulders, which can also be translated to her saying “leave me alone.” And looking closely, you couldn’t distinguish the tears from the perspiration but she was crying.

The pain she had stored deep within are now numbed by throbbing and blistered hands. With all the anger gone from her eyes, she takes off her gloves and starts to relax her clenched jaw. She then leaves the room with a swinging punching bag behind. Looks back and says, “it’s just between the two of us.” before letting the door close after her then walks away.

Day 2

Okay, today’s like a spill-over from Day 1’s clubbing adventure because I ended up hitting the sack around 8 a.m. then waking up around two-ish in the afternoon with a severe sore throat, headache and was at the brink of a cold-flu outbreak. Uh, I already had the sniffles and cough so I vowed not to touch a single stick of cigarette that day.

I had my usual herbal tea, panadol and lots of water. My friend and I had some late lunch then settled in the couch, uh, well — me, at least — hugging my nephew’s Pooh pillow that I brought along with me on the trip and watched Ralph Macchio’s Karate Kid II on telly.

It’s such rotten timing that I fell sick during this trip. There I was, finally in Melbourne, with a promise of getting things sorted out in my head about certain things that were bothering me the past couple of weeks by partying really hard [Okay. Okay. I wanted to forget. Bleh.], only I found myself too sick to actually go out and fully explore the city.

However, after the movie, I stood up with a purpose and marched straight to the bath so I can start preparing to go out. I refuse to stay at home and be sick. Ha! My friend was DJing at a house party over at the city so he’s letting me tag-along. Hehehe.

From the south-east of Melbourne, we headed west. It was a good 30-40 minute drive but what the hell, I endured an almost 3-hour long drive yesterday, it’s nothing compared to that! Hahaha. We had to pick up some records at his house and I wanted to see and drool over his extensive vinyl collection. I listened to the albums of The Doors [I loved the way he added HipHop Flavour to one song. Brilliant!] and Billie Holiday. I was bugging him to let me see the Miles Davis album but it’s lost in the shelves and shelves of vinyls. I was so disappointed I couldn’t find it. I loved that I saw Jimi Hendrix and a lot of Rock albums in the collection, which he admits belong to his younger brother, DJ James Dela Cruz from the famed Avalanches. Anyway, he offered to teach me how to scratch but I couldn’t! Too scared I might scratch the vinyl if I make a mistake! Hahaha. But now I’m wishing I could’ve at least tried.. you can’t get free lessons from old school scratch DJs nowadays. Pffft. Dammit! Oh, well. I just took a photo instead.

After some tea and watching a bit of telly while he gets his stuff together and surprisingly he made time to burn me another CD of a latest mix of HipHop music thus adding it to a total of — is it four or five now, Jay? Hmmm. I forget. Oh, well. Taking a box of tissue with me, off the kitchen counter, with his knowledge, of course, we left his gorgeous “he’s not rich” house, then drove into a grunge-y part of the city, to Tooch’s house party. After I made him buy Hungry Jack’s [aka Burger King] for dinner and almost but not quite got lost in the process, that is. Hehehe.

It was my first ever house party of the sort. It’s like a BYOB-kind, with mostly the male species inhabiting the party. Yea, met quite a few number of men that night. Uh, no. No sparks went flying. Heh. Tooch was out buying beer and liquor and a Beastie Boy groupie DJ was behind the turntables so we had a few minutes of talk and making me feel comfortable thing going until Tooch finally arrived and introductions were made. He shoved a whiskey-coke in my hand that had waaaay too much whiskey in it if you ask me that no amount of coke can wash down the aftertaste it left in my mouth. Yeeecch.

And finally, my friend finally got pushed behind the turntable and I retreated into the background by staying in the foyer just near the door leading to the backyard where the party was at. I listened and I watched. I was impressed by what I heard and yea, most if not all were ooh-ing and aah-ing while he did his thing on the turntables. There was even a guy from Germany or Sweden or some European country outside the UK, who wanted a photo taken with him while he’s scratching with a sign that says something in the lines of “I’m in the land of the master DJs” written in his own language so you can’t really quote me on that since I don’t know German or Swedish. Bleh. It was just hilarious that’s all. Hahaha.

And another reason I stayed in the foyer was because it was f*cking cold out there and I was not feeling too well! Ha.

It’s funny because it seems like I was hiding and refusing to mingle, which is partly true since I’m not feeling too hot and well about doing such but I reckon it still didn’t stop a few from coming over and try chatting me up. Teeheehee. I don’t mind really but I’m not my usual friendly self since I was sick and I couldn’t be bothered but it was nice, though. I like meeting new people especially if they come from a different culture. I’m fascinated by other cultures. However, when I was talking to this guy, whose name I forget, my good friend, Jay, brought it upon himself to rescue me and dragged me inside the house to show me a photograph coffeebook of the Ifugao / Kalinga Apayao Province in the Philippines. Duh. I was confused at first because I really didn’t know what was going on but just went along with it. I just teased him about it afterwards, to which he admitted to be guilty of doing. Just like an over-protective brother, eh? He probably thought the guy’s not good enough for me. Poor guy. Hahaha.

Anyway, we hung around the living room and got to know Tooch’s other flatmates, one happened to be a Filo [local label for Aussie-Filipinos] and he’s a pretty cool guy. We left the party after one last cigarette [I couldn't help it! It was too damn cold!] then offered to drop them off at the city on our way back. We stopped at Angelucci’s for some latte before heading back to the house where we rummaged for some food, a couple of more cigarettes then finally go to bed. Whew.

Day 3

Worst thing happened, I woke up with a fever. I had a hard time sleeping because of the cold that it really made me cry. I’m not kidding! I felt so terribly cold and it was a horrible time. It really didn’t help even if I had 3 layers of clothing and 4 blankets. I was dreadfully sick. Dammit!

Twas around 10 a.m. The earliest I’ve been up since I got to Melbourne. My friend was hestitant to take me out but I just told him to just let me wake myself up a little and I’d be fine to go. His cousin invited him to a party, you see. So after my usual tea, panadol and cigarette, we set out for another drive. I’ve been spending a lot of my time sitting in his car the past couple of days, listening to a lot of HipHop music. I still can’t believe the traffic and the enormity of the place since I got so used to Adelaide’s relaxing atmosphere. All I can do to amuse myself is to take vain-y photos of me sitting in the passenger seat with the seatbelt strapped on. Heh.

I think the party was in the south-west of the city. And it turned out to be a surprise birthday party for my friend, too. He told me he just celebrated his birthday like a few days before I got there and had a party a few after I left. Bugger you! Hmpft! Anyway, we stayed there around 5 hours, I reckon. They had several rounds of beer while I watched from a corner, envious. Sniff. I just couldn’t be bothered. I was too sick to consume alcohol. Bleh. But it was great food, though. I loved the Dinuguan with gata. It’s a Filipino dish. I’m sure people will be totally grossed out if I describe what it is. Well — you can ask me if you really want to know what it is. Hehehe. We went back to the house, had Hungry Jack’s take-out [again!] and just hung out at the house till I went to bed around eleven-ish.

I still can’t get over that he had a party a few days after I left. He even had the audacity to invite me! Like I’d go on the 10-hour bus ride to attend that freaking party. Get real. I know. I know. It wasn’t something you can control, dear friend. Oh, bugger off. Hahaha.

Just kidding, of course.

Humor Me.
The Trip: Day 4 and back.
The Trip: Day 0-1

I recently bought a copy of the album, El Momento Descuidado, of the Australian rock band, The Church. I’ve been listening to it for the last couple of days.

I first took notice of the band when they performed the song, Under the Milky Way, in the Opening Ceremonies for the Commonwealth Games, evenwhen they’ve been around for a couple of decades. I reckon it’s due to the fact that they did have a hard time getting enough PR that’s why they’re not as popular as they should be. Anyway, the song captured the attention of the musician in me. The way they played it then was enchanting. I’m not kidding. I find the lyrics fascinating, here’s a taste:

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty,
Sound of their breath fades with the light.
I think about the loveless fascination,
Under the milky way tonight.

and so does the lyrics of the song, Almost with You. Well, I reckon it wasn’t just the lyrics, it was actually the entire sound of the song. Even now, I can’t get the song out of my mind.

This album was first released in 2004 so, yea, I’m a couple of years late in buying it. Who cares? I love it. All acoustic. I found out that the album’s title is actually taken from one of the songs in the album, The Unguarded Moment.

So hard
Finding inspiration
I knew you’d find me crying
Tell those girls with rifles for minds
That their jokes don’t make me laugh
They only make me feel like dying
In an unguarded moment

So long
Long between mirages
I knew you’d find me drinking
Tell those men with horses for arms
That their jokes don’t make me bleed
They only make me feel like shrinking
In an unguarded moment

So deep
Deep without a meaning
I knew you’d find me leaving
Tell those friends with cameras for eyes
That their hands don’t make me hang
They only make me feel like breathing

In an unguarded moment

Steve Kilbey is one hell of a songwriter and singer. It’s funny that he has a blog, too. Though, I was expecting more poetic entries in it but — oh, well.

So, it has been these four guys who have been keeping me company the past couple of days in my nightly cigarette sessions outside the house. They helped me deal with news about things that would normally throw me off balance. They’ve become a soundtrack of this on-going conversation I am having with myself about honesty, boundaries, principles and — ah, yes.. patience. Life’s more tougher lessons are worth every tear.

Humor me.
What a funny coincidence…
Mad Season
A Day of Music

Who would’ve thought that this month will be filled with surprises? Daaanng! It’s certainly has been a busy month for me!

Highlights:

• Remember that little something I said before about my fashion blog, Tops 2 Bottoms? Well, the secret’s out. It finally got launched! Things got shaking at the start of this month so yea, I’ve been busy.

• I started blogging about the Commonwealth Games over at Light the Torch, which is now all mine. Ha.

• Then there’s my 4-day trip to Melbourne, which I haven’t really finished telling you all about. Teeheehee.

• A new blog is in the works and I’m pretty darn excited about it.

• Another surprise came when I got asked to co-author, Dating Dames! Yea, I’m the new Dame.

• To top it all off, I had to finish putting together and finally mailing out this afternoon, all the required documentations for my Aussie Migration Application.

Whew! I know it doesn’t seem a lot but tell me if it’s easy to come up with 36 posts a week across 4 different topics. Heh.

It’s good, though, that I was able to end the one thing that was stressing me the most. Makes me think how grateful I am that I don’t have the problems of being attached, ergo, added responsibilities because of a partner. Hahaha. Oh, imagine that stress! However, it still left me with other stresses. Why am I torturing myself? I got to get a life, man! Bleh.

Day 0

I boarded the Greyhound Australia bus at the Franklin bus station at Adelaide, South Australia around 7:45 p.m. It is to take me to Melbourne with an ETA of 6 a.m. the following day. We were scheduled to take 2 pit stops in the 10-hour roadtrip. Yes. It was like my flight from Manila to Adelaide. It took me that loooong. It sucked cuz I couldn’t sleep and I thought I was coming down with something cuz I was starting to feel sick.

Day 1

6 a.m. arrived at the Franklin bus station at Melbourne [it's funny how they name streets the same way. Hahaha.] a little before six so I had to wait for my friend to come pick me up. I wasn’t surprised to find out that he woke up late. Hahaha. I just walked out of the terminal stood on the curb smoking and conversed about education systems in different countries [mainly about the differences between American and British influences] and the Commonwealth Games with a Uni student waiting for his friend to pick him up, too.

Yes, I was sick. I was beginning to have symptoms of the flu and I had an eye infection. This much I found out when I went to the toilet to freshen up after that long bus ride.

It didn’t stop me from going out that night, though. Hahaha. After like a couple of hours in my friends car going from the CBD to the West of Melbourne then headed South East. Errands. He had to take care of some errands. Oh, well. I slept in the car most of the time anyway. We got to the place where I’d staying, we settled in, ate, talked a bit then I slept.

First on the itinerary was He wanted to take me clubbing. How can I resist? Ha. He wanted me to see the clubs he DJ’d in at one time or another. First on the list was Chasers. Cool place. Got there around 12:30 a.m. I reckon. It’s not overflowing but it was busy. Hiphop music but mostly commercialised tracks that it somehow annoyed me. Heh. We took our time dissing the DJ and Aussie chicks dancing. Don’t get me wrong, he started it. Hahaha. I just had to agree that it did look weird. Can you imagine a white chick weighing around 130 lbs with thighs, 10″ in diameter, dancing to hiphop and her movements are alternating rotations of legs with hips thrown forward, all done with a steady torso? Sorry. But I just think it’s not right!

Anyway, after a bottle of Stella, we headed to a very posh club called Seven. I liked the atmosphere much better. I love the red interiors with all the big lanterns and lounges. There are even portions where lounges are separated by big curtains for *privacy*. Hahaha. Not that they really use it cuz what was it that I saw that night? Noooo. I’m not gonna tell. Teeheehee. It’s not too busy though even if it was just 2 a.m. And they were playing old school hiphop, which was pretty cool in my book. We didn’t really stay long since I’m not feeling too good and he wanted me to check out one last club. Off I went to the cold streets of Melbourne once more.

It’s Platform One. It’s a quaint club, really. Clubbers are mostly Asians, which I really find funny. It has this tunnel look to it. I reckon it was an old train station converted to commercial establishments and this club got to use 2 tunnels. Why two? I really am not sure but they segregated 2 kinds of music in one place. One tunnel dedicated to House Music and the other, to HipHop. Both have their own bars and lounges but they share one entrance. It’s cool but I was vaguely unsettled by all of it. Perhaps I was just sick, that’s all.

When we got home, we were both hungry. Found some left over spaghetti from dinner, heated it and enjoyed every bite.

Hey, I miss *my* stool in that kitchen. It’s mine!

Humor Me.
The Trip: Day 2-3
The Trip: Day 4 and back.

I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. Did I wake up from a nightmare or to one? There’s a fine line which separates the two and I just left it. The joy of forgetful sleep.

The words “get lost”, “you’ve done nothing”, “grow up”, “fuck you” resound in my head like an incessant clanging of gongs. I had to rest my head on my hands for a minute. It didn’t help so now I write.

Tell me something I haven’t told myself a million times. You can also throw in “worthless piece of shit”, “callous bitch”, “ungrateful sponge”, “fucking idiot”. Please let’s not keep up appearances here. Go ahead and let it all out. I hope it makes you feel better. That’s what’s important. After all, I am the shit, the bitch, the sponge, and the idiot who is immature, have done nothing and would be better if I’d just fuck off and get lost.

No, I’m not being sarcastic. Hell, I know what a pathetic loser I am in other people’s eyes.

Though, I do wonder sometimes if they really do see me. Failing to realise that this life that they look down upon is a life, with all its imperfections, is my world. A world that their words tried to destroy.

Yet I still dare to dream that one day I will be loved. Even if it seems I am not deserving. My faith tells me that I am so I believe that one day someone will take me in his arms and say, “Everything will be alright.” My God will make sure of that.

I got back from Melbourne yesterday morning. Tired and worn out by the bus ride, not to mention I’m dreadfully sick. I prayed that this kind of thing wouldn’t happen on the trip but hey, guess what? It did. Heh.

I haven’t fully unpacked my suitcase. I’m too tired and too sick and uh, yea.. too lazy. Haha. I haven’t had a cigarette since yesterday and it’s a bummer. Just as well since I’m coughing my lungs out. I know, too graphic. Sorry.

I’m thankful that my friend and his family took care of me. What a way to spend a holiday, huh? No. I did not just stay in bed. I’ll tell you about my trip next time. I’m just too sick right now to do it justice.

All I have time and energy for right now is work. I have to. I need to. I feel like a loser sometimes. Bleh.

Humor Me.
Off to Melbourne?
Roadtrip!

I’m heading to Melbourne after all!

The last few days, I’ve been busy with the arrangements like booking transportation and accommodation [courtesy of my dear friend, Jay!] and planning my itinerary.

I was planning it to be strictly for pleasure because initially the things I planned on doing was sight-seeing, clubbing and meeting up with people. Now, I reckon I’ll be on the look-out for stuff to blog about. So, yea, there’s a bit of work involved.

I’m currently covering the Melbourne 2006 XVIII Commonwealth Games at Light the Torch. I started yesterday and it’s really been challenging and fun.

I just finished watching the Opening Ceremonies and it was incredible. The pyrotechnics left me breathless. I wish I could’ve been there to witness it.

Anyway, I’ll be leaving later tonight and I’ll see you guys in 4 days!

I was up late last night watching the last match of the One Day International: Australia versus South Africa.

It’s the best match I’ve ever watched. I reckon it is the best One Day Cricket match. Period. You want to know why? Alright. Be patient as I give you a blow-by-blow account of the 9 hour match. Ha! I’m just kidding.

It just sucks that Australia lost by 4 runs and 1 wicket. Bleh. Even if it seemed impossible when they did score a magnificent 434-4. Check the highlights so, you’d understand why.

Highlights:

Summary:

Australia soared so high that they crashed and burned in the end. South Africans were ecstatic with the results, of course. It was an unbelievable game. It’s one of the best Cricket Matches that people will be talking about for years and years to come. It was history made.

My brother-in-law kept saying that he should’ve placed a bet on South Africa winning since he dreamt about it the night before. But then again, what were the odds?

You can read more about this match here and here.

Up next: The Ashes – Australia versus England. Let the Test Match begin.

Humor Me.
Australian Cricket: VB Series
It’s Sri Lanka.
Australia Won the VB Series

Hahaha.

My brother-in-law, Jeremy, just told me he bought a new CD that he thinks I would love to listen to. It was still in the store’s bag. When I went and looked inside, I found a James Blunt CD. Totally hilarious. He only heard of him because of me, you see. My friend, Jay, knew that I wanted that CD so he sent me a copy of the single – You’re Beautiful, last year. And Jeremy got to listen to it over Christmas and I guess, he liked it, judging from his recent purchase. Hahaha.

The funny coincidence is that I just told you about how I’ve been listening to too much Matchbox 20. Now, I reckon I’ll be listening to a new CD. More music for me. Yay!

It has both a CD [Live in Ireland] and DVD [Live in concert at the BBC] plus some extras, too.

I’ll tell you all about it when I finish listening to it. Meanwhile –

Humor Me.
You’re Beautiful – James Blunt

It seems like it is a mad season.

The past few days has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride for me. Some days I’m excited. Some, confused. I find myself highly annoyed, wanting to pick a fight then there were moments where I’m just sitting out front sipping tea, listening to music and having a cigarette or two. I’ve got to find some sort of balance. This is starting to get out of hand. I’m not liking it, not liking it at all.

This brings me to a thought. Well– not exactly but something that occured last night. You probably guess it, it’s Matchbox 20’s Mad Season. I dunno why I listened to the entire album — twice. But I did. The song, Mad Season, particularly caught my attention. Why? It somehow voiced out my current state.

I’d like to cite a few lines that somewhat gives an idea of what I’m talking about.

do you think you can cope
you figured me out — i’m lost and i’m hopeless
i’m bleeding and broken — though i’ve never spoken
i come undone — in this mad season

… now i’m crying — isn’t that what you want
i’m trying to live my life on my own
but i won’t
at times — i do believe i am strong
so someone tell me why, why, why
do i feel stupid and i came undone.

Still don’t get it? Well, don’t look at me. I’ve said enough, don’t you think?

Humor Me.
Time, Lightning and a Journey
The Day of Hearts
Remembering Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Sophia runs her fingers over the shiny candle apple red side panel of a 1966 Shelby GT350 Mustang. She admired the car from afar before daring herself to come for a closer look. She has been dreaming about driving a car like that, owning a car like that.

The keys were in the ignition, beckoning her to take him for a spin. Yes, him. She always thought that a car like that is never anything but masculine. All her cars have always had guy’s names. And this one’s no exception. A muscle car. A powerful machine and he’s here all accommodating. It felt like the car was even flirting with her, seemingly saying, “I’ve been dreaming about you, too. You and I belong together.”

Sophia responded with excitement, climbs into the driver’s seat and took in the interiors. It felt fabulous. She turns the key and the powerful engine came roaring into life. Her shaky hands on the steering wheel gently caresses it as if silently saying, “Yea, I know I’m driving but we’ll be in it together. I’m in no hurry. I’ll get to know you along the way. I will let you take me where you want to go.”

Sophia’s falling for the car like she knew she would.

With the top down, the wind on her face, she finally felt free and alive once more. She steps on the accelerator with the intention to get lost in the crowd of cars and take in the experience that this moment has offered. It made her feel that there are endless possibilities between her and the Mustang.

She had been yearning to find her dream car for what seemed like ages. And now that she has found it, she grabbed the opportunity and is relishing in the bliss it brought with it. Lines from the song, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, “I’d give up forever to touch you cuz I know that you feel me somehow. You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be and I don’t want to go home right now…” playing in my head, nothing could have made the moment more perfect. Sophia loves driving. She was born to drive this car. She’s been waiting for this moment and she knows it’s worth it.

As she nears a crossroad, she steps on the brakes and stared at the dashdoard for the longest time. She realised that she failed to pay heed on one important thing about this situation. With reluctance, she decides to make a U-turn and started driving back to the place where she and the car met then hit the brakes one last time and turned the engine off.

Everything seemed like it were happening in reverse.

She got out of the car and shut the door, leaving the keys in the ignition. Running her fingers along the shiny candle apple red side panel one final time then she took her hand away. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply then turned around.

No matter how happy she was for having had the chance to drive it, she’ll always know that this car — her dream car — is not hers. She knows she’ll get to meet a similar car one day, one that she can call her own but for now, she has this experience to bring with her until that day comes. She walks away, exhaling like she’d been holding her breath for years, and she never looked back.

Yes, Qumana. It makes me feel like a stupid idiot. Heh.

I wrote a couple of entries earlier and it seems to have got stuck somewhere. Bleh. I just want to pull my hair out. Strand. By. Strand.

It’s highly irritating. First, it’s my fashion blog now entries on my other blogs. Argh. I already was working with someone who tried to help me with the kinks but — oh, yes. The problem still persists. Crazy, I know. Pfft.

Humor Me.
Utter Frustration with Multiply
Getting to know Picasa
Rant Rant Rant Part 1

Cigarettes.

It’s bad for your health. Like most adverts on telly nowadays say, it can cause lung and mouth cancer [don't quote me on the latter]. But I’m still hooked on it anyway.

Coffee.

I read somewhere that it’s somehow is good for something, I forget though. But what I know for sure is that it can cause Ulcer. But I still love it anyway.

Conversation.

No, I simply cannot capture it in an image. It’s one of the things lacking in my life right now. I miss it.

Yes. My addictions are Cigarettes, Coffee and Conversations. My three Cs.

Humor Me.
Good Lung. Bad Lung.
Giving up smoking
A beginning and an end

Starbucks Photo © The Parody

You guessed it. I’m in a sour mood today.

PS || The fact that the Internet connection on this PC acted up bigtime so I was out of commission for a good 2 hours! I was even in the middle of working on my fashion blog so I totally lost the thing I was working on! Grrr. Who says you can’t have problems with DSL?! Tssch. I only had to hack, tinker, and search every nook and cranny of this machine just to beat it down and make it obey me. Arrggh.

Humor Me.
Thoughts on writing and being read
Manila, Philippines

I just checked my email and I decided to check the one I got from Weblogs @ About.Com about birthday thingies. Take a look at the result.

Yes. you have to —>

Your Birthdate: December 22

You tend to be understated and under appreciated.
You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way.
People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little.
Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know.

Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true

Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid

Your power color: Silver

Your power symbol: Square

Your power month: April

The Clipsal 500 is coming up here in Adelaide. I’m dying to go. If only the tickets weren’t that expensive. Argh. I’ll try to look into the one day tickets. Pfft.

The race and other festivities run from March 23rd until the 26th. There will be live bands every night. I heard Grinspoon and Silverchair’s performing on separate nights. Though, I’m not particularly a fan of their music. As much as I’d like to enjoy the music and the atmosphere it can create, what I really like to check out are the cars!

Yea, I love cars. I love speed.

I was out in the garden having a cigarette, listening to Michelle Branch’s Something to Sleep to, when I thought of Prisms.

I had my eyes closed when I noticed that I was seeing red. Then I put my hand over my closed eyes, it was black. I knew then that light which was trying to get through my eyelid. It was a trivial thing but it amazed me.

Prism defracts white light and breaks it to the colours of the rainbow: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. And I’m curious to know why it was red that I saw. It was a given why it was black when I covered my already closed eyes, twas due to opacity.

I really enjoy the moments when I am bothered by thoughts like these. And I like Wikipedia, too.

I saw on the news last night that there is a club in New York, specifically put up for kids below 13 years old. Sheesh! What’s wrong with this picture? I know the US Constitution doesn’t allow minors [below 21 years old] to drink alcohol but it gives ample freedom to party their heart out at this establishment? I’m baffled.

I don’t have anything against clubbing perse, being a clubber myself but to learn that they start young nowadays? Geez. I only started commuting great distances when I went to Uni, for chrissake! Ack. This calls for some parenting classes for most then.

I wonder what kind of nightmare I’ll be encountering when I become a mum? Eek. Scary.

Wendy Cope
[21 July 1945 - ]

There’s not a Shakespeare sonnet
Or a Beethoven quartet
That’s easier to like than you
Or harder to forget.

You think that sounds extravagant?
I haven’t finished yet –
I like you more than I would like
To have a cigarette.

“People who have never been addicted to nicotine don’t understand what an intense love poem it is.” - Wendy Cope

HEART: How does it feel to be wrong?

BRAIN: Crap. I know I made a mistake.

HEART: You should be whipped for thinking the worst of him.

BRAIN: Whipped? That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?

HEART: If he knew what went through your head at that moment, he’d be laughing at you right now.

BRAIN: Oh, shut it. It’s embarrassing enough as it is. I know it’s wrong of me to assume.

HEART: You and your assumptions. Stop jumping into conclusions.

BRAIN: In all my judgments, I rely on past experiences for reference.

HEART: You have to learn how to trust. You know, let me drive sometimes.

BRAIN: I do have a domineering personality.

HEART: So, can we call a truce?

BRAIN: Let me think about it.

HEART: Oh, you can be so heartless sometimes!